We took a mulligan on last month’s column for two reasons: 1) the debacle involving Will Smith and Chris Rock was easily the stupidest thing that happened in that period, and there was just no point in trying to top that; and 2) since last month’s issue was our special 420 edition, you were all probably celebrating the occasion, in which case you’d find everything hilarious anyway. So, now we’re back to business and have we got some ridiculous stories for you! Let’s begin in the state that almost single-handedly made this column necessary: Florida. Specifically, the hilariously-named Longwood, whose …

Nikki Fried works the room Democratic darling Nikki Fried flew into Jacksonville on a Sunday morning and spoke to exactly 28 people, and it was the smartest political play anyone made that weekend. She breezed in through the side entrance of the Hyatt Regency Downtown just after 11 a.m., flanked only by a single staffer, having driven there straight from the airport after campaigning downstate the day before. Like Chris Partlow, she gets there early. Inside, the Florida Young Democrats amassed in a third-floor conference room for day two of their convention, and I was the only journalist there. Her …

The changing face of cannabis in Northeast Florida Dr. Chidi Uche cuts a distinctive figure. Tailored suit, Italian loafers, monogrammed Ralph Lauren shirt with French cuffs and presidential seal cufflinks. Even his stethoscope is fancy; it’s white with rose gold where you’d normally see stainless steel. His cool demeanor surely inspires confidence among his clients at Timeless Medical Spa, where he specializes in a wide variety of cosmetic and aesthetic treatments. We met with him at his office on Southside Boulevard. It’s actually his second office (the other one is on University Boulevard), and it hasn’t been open that long. …

Here we are, not even three full months into the year yet, and Florida Man already approaches his mid-season form. And he is NOT alone, as you’ll soon see. Let’s begin with our colleagues at Orlando Weekly, who delivered the good word about Publix, which recently cut ties with a company called Chaokoh, who used to be their plug for coconut milk—well, one of them; you can never have too many connections for coconut milk. What caused the cancelation? Monkey slaves. A PETA operation in Thailand two years ago uncovered evidence that monkeys were being chained to used tires and …

Relatable Content Folio first featured Ellie K in its pages in one of the earliest installments of “Folio Weed,” nigh on four years ago. Our first interview, way back in August 2018, took place at Starbucks. At the time, she was in the first year of her YouTube channel, which deals specifically with cannabis products made and sold in Northeast Florida. She only had a few hundred subscribers at the time, and her goal was to get that number above 1,000, thus opening the door to AdSense loot.  Today, Ellie’s channel, Florida Cannabis Reviews, has over 8,000 subscribers and 71 …

Agriculture Secretary Nikki Fried has emerged as the leading contender to unseat Ron DeSantis in the governor’s race this year, which is kinda like being the No. 1 contender against Mike Tyson in 1989: Odds of winning are slim, but if she’s patient, he might eventually beat himself. Clearly, he is not the same person he was four years ago, but none of us is. To defeat DeSantis, a challenger must first dispatch former governor Charlie Crist and four other random people in the Aug. 23 primary. Given the internecine tendencies of Florida Democrats, the nominee will be limping to …

This month’s installment was written days before the actual deadline, because this first story is so stupid that I had to just jump in, immediately. To wit: In early January, the LAPD announced a phenomenon most rare: Two police officers were actually fired for official misconduct. Such harsh penalties are usually reserved for people who openly collaborate with gangs, steal drugs from the evidence locker or break sea turtle eggs–you know, the worst of the worst. In this case, their crime was more one of omission, as they failed to go deal with a reported robbery because—don’t even bother guessing—they …

Caron Marcelous goes global with ganja Folio Weed #2 I’ve known Caron Marcelous for about 25 years, and he looks almost exactly the same. You can credit that to genetics and a healthy lifestyle because it’s certainly not about any absence of stress or preponderance of sleep. Instead, Marcelous has been keeping consistently late hours in multiple time zones for longer than some of you readers have even been alive, working as a manager and club promoter, but mainly as a singer for local groups like Big Band Theory. Not only has he shown no indication of slowing down, but …

Buoy, Oh, Boy When it comes to random ridiculous stories, the state of Florida has been ubiquitous, almost since the earliest days of moveable type. So it makes perfect sense that the last stupid story of 2021 and the first stupid story of 2022 are the same story, and it’s a story that took place here in Florida. Two maniacs were caught on camera burning an old Christmas tree in Key West … actually “caught” is the wrong word, as it implies some measure of subterfuge, of which there was none. They clearly saw the security cameras, and they appeared …