FOLIO
Jacksonville’s Stolen Valor Villain: Semper Fraud
Jacksonville is a military town, more so than most with residents actively participating in every U.S. conflict since the Civil War. Naval Air Station Jacksonville (NAS) has been the city’s biggest employer basically since it was built in 1940, so the local economy and culture are both significantly shaped by our active duty and (especially) veteran presence here. As such, we take all that “thank you for your service” stuff seriously, and we do not take kindly to stolen valor around here, as a local man learned the hard way in late December. In fairness, he did serve in the USMC, and thanks for that. But his military discharge document (DD-214) contained a number of false statements about that service, including positions he never held and awards he never won. Worse, he used it to fraudulently obtain government contracts and other benefits on multiple occasions. The rapacious rapscallion will go unnamed; he gets no clout from us, but he does face five years in federal prison.
Extreme Couponing: The Prison Edition
Late-stage capitalism can be a challenge, even at the best of times, which these are not. So it’s to be expected that people will seek out savings at every opportunity, and that some will try (and usually fail) to game the system in their favor. One local woman went above and beyond in her effort to put the “extreme” back into “extreme couponing.” She was just one of five indicted on conspiracy charges after buying and redeeming counterfeit coupons that she bought from a Virginia Beach couple. Having spent just $5,000, she ultimately cleared savings of exactly $334,388.60 over 42 individual transactions from 2017 to 2020, averaging $7,962 each. Her colleagues, who made over $32 million with the scheme, are already cased up, to the tune of 20 years in prison combined. Her fake coupons won’t save her any money where she’s going, but that’s OK because no one would pay money for prison food, whether the money is real or not.
Jax Beach’s Newest Heavyweight Contender
Shark sightings aren’t exactly known for bringing peace of mind. And when OCEARCH spotted the biggest great white shark in the research group’s history cruising off the coast of Jax Beach on Jan. 17, let’s just say “calm” was nowhere to be found. Weighing in at a jaw-dropping 1,700 pounds, this massive predator — now named Contender — has been tagged with a SPOT tracker to help scientists study shark behavior and ocean conservation for the next five years. So yeah, a little terrifying, but also kind of awesome. Just remember to check your surroundings next time you take a dip… unless you’re looking to meet your own Contender.
Save a Horse Ride a … Police Officer?
This isn’t about the crime itself, but rather what happened afterward. Jordan Wilson, 25, was caught red-handed in an alleged drug deal Downtown. Instead of facing the music, he made a break for it — straight into oncoming traffic. But running from two mounted police officers? Not exactly a winning strategy. Yep, mounted. Wilson was trying to outrun two cops on horses.
The chase was short — just a quarter mile — and after the arrest, JSO posted the body cam footage with the caption, “If you choose to run, you’ll just go to jail tired.” Classic.
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