FOLIO
Words by Ambar Ramirez, Carmen Macri & Shelton Hull
Touchdowns and Takedowns
At most football games, fans keep their eyes on the field — but at the recent Florida-Georgia rivalry match (aka “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party”), all eyes were on the stands. A little chaos is expected at a game with divided, well-lubricated fans, but this year’s action took a surprising turn. With six officers and eight fans arrested, plus 35 others escorted out, things definitely went beyond the usual sideline drama. Two videos of out-of-context police scuffles went viral, sparking even more curiosity. In one video, it turned out a fan had allegedly used racial slurs toward an officer, while the second video was suspected of being intentionally misleading. After an investigation, the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Department confirmed the officers acted within policy to keep themselves and nearby fans safe. And in the end, we still lost the game. So, was it all really worth it?
Gator Grab
In Florida, we are no strangers to our scaly neighbors who happen to show up at the worst of times. As Floridians, we are well versed in the “what to do” and “what not to do” when dealing with these reptiles. So when JSO got the call to assist with an alligator removal on Martin Luther King Jr. Parkway, they thought they’d be lending a hand — until they saw the “backup” that was already on scene. As the wrangler wrestled the gator into submission, a young kid strolled up, tape in hand, ready to help secure the gator’s jaws. Peak Florida, right? Turns out, this wasn’t just a bold kid with a wild idea — he’s actually part of a family of professional gator wranglers. Safe to say, JSO wasn’t needed.
When Popeyes Gets Spicier Than the Chicken
We can all basically agree that hooking up with kids is wrong; at least, we thought so until we found out who the next Attorney General might be. Another guy who didn’t get the memo was shot by police last week after making lewd advances toward a mother and her two daughters, 11 and 13. The incident took place at the iconic Popeyes on McDuff, which has sadly had more than one incidence of gunplay in recent years, but this one was not about the spicy chicken sandwich. The company now keeps plenty on hand, after a chaotic relaunch in 2019 sparked sandwich-related violence in Maryland, Texas, Tennessee, California and, of course, Florida. Just the past couple of years have seen shootings at Popeyes locations in Memphis, Rochester and now Jacksonville. It tracks, since company founder Al Copeland once famously threw down with a rival businessman at a Morton’s in New Orleans 30 years ago. Legend!
Hot Pursuit and Heavy Lifting
Here’s some free advice from your friends at “Folio”: Don’t steal ATMs. They’re really heavy, they’re almost impossible to open, and you will always get caught. Actually, that’s not entirely true, because two local yokels successfully fled the scene after the failed theft of an ATM from the VyStar on Dunn Avenue. It was nearly 5 a.m. when police intervened, trailing the truck at 90 mph, with the ATM throwing sparks as it was dragged behind. Eventually they jumped out and ran away, never to be seen again. It’s unclear what exact model of freestanding ATM unit that particular branch was using, and we’re not going to ask them, but freestanding units made by Nautilus, Genmega or NCR typically weigh about 200 pounds, so everyone involved is lucky they walked (or, rather, ran) away from such a dangerous situation. Terrible idea!
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