FOLIO
Dear Dumbs,
I always look forward to your article, but I never imagined that I’d feel the need to ask for advice.
Do you have any suggestions on how to motivate my husband? Here’s the details. I’ve been married for 35 years. For the most part, it’s been pretty great. He’s been a fantastic father to our three children. They’re all out of the house now and doing well.
All he does now is eat, sleep and read. Sometimes he reads 12+ hours a day. I feel a complete disconnect and a certain sadness in his behavior. I asked him if he was depressed and he said that he’s “just tired.”
He recently had his checkup and is very healthy. But he does no exercise or anything social anymore. The only thing he seems to be excited about is his upcoming retirement.
What would Shari do?
Carlie L.
Ponte Vedra Beach
TERRY: Oh, oh, I can’t wait to hear this. Take it away, Shari.
SHARI: A little too close to home?
TERRY: Part of this. Yes.
SHARI: What part?
TERRY: Well, I do enjoy my alone time more than most people.
SHARI: I’ll give you that.
TERRY: My guess is that he’s having a tough time with aging.
SHARI: That could be. I’ve seen you struggle with that a little.
TERRY: A little! It’s a total mind screw. I think we’ve solved the problem.
SHARI: That very well could be it. I hope he feels as though he could talk to you, Carlie, about these feelings.
TERRY: Listen, I’m not diagnosing the guy. I just know it’s a very hard thing to bring up to the person you’re supposed to inspire.
SHARI: Aw, that’s sweet.
TERRY: Shut your face.
SHARI: Carlie, I would start by letting him know he can talk to you about anything under the sun. Especially something that’s of a vulnerable nature.
TERRY: Yes, I believe that something is bothering him, and if he’s healthy like you say, it could be just a dude trying to figure out where he fits in the current world.
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