FOLIO
By Amy Love, Matchmaker for Honey & Flame Matchmaking
Question: I am a woman who is only attracted to men who make more money than I do. (I make six figures.) The last guy I dated lied and told me he was a high earner. When we broke up because we just were not compatible, he told me that I was a shallow person for only letting money be in the love equation. Am I wrong about this? I don’t feel shallow, I just think that I might end up resentful if a mate doesn’t have the same drive or earning power I have.
Dear Seeking Self-Love,
It’s understandable that you’re grappling with this issue, and I’m here to offer some guidance. First and foremost, it’s crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. However, it’s also essential to explore the underlying reasons behind your preferences.
While financial stability is undoubtedly an important aspect of a relationship, placing too much emphasis on it can inadvertently overshadow other significant qualities like kindness, compatibility and emotional connection. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, understanding and support, which aren’t necessarily tied to monetary success.
Reflect on whether your desire for a partner who earns more stems from societal pressures, personal insecurities or past experiences. By delving into these underlying factors, you can gain a clearer understanding of your motivations and make informed decisions moving forward.
Additionally, consider whether your focus on a partner’s earning potential might inadvertently limit your dating pool and hinder your chances of finding genuine compatibility. True fulfillment in a relationship often stems from shared values, goals, and aspirations rather than financial status alone.
Ultimately, self-love involves honoring your worth and prioritizing your emotional well-being. While financial compatibility is important, it’s just one piece of the puzzle. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and don’t hesitate to seek support from trusted friends, family or a therapist as you navigate these complexities.
Remember, you deserve love and happiness in a relationship that celebrates all facets of who you are.
Question: I am a 25-year-old virgin man. I find that once I reveal this to anyone,I have been dating they immediately think it must be due to religious beliefs. It’s not. I just think people shouldn’t participate in having sex until they are married. The only women I have been able to find who agree with this are super religious. Since I’m not, that seems to be of issue as well. Any tips on how to find love without sex being involved?
Dear Seeking Love,
Your perspective on relationships and intimacy is valid and deserves respect. It’s understandable that you may feel frustrated by the assumptions people make about your choice to abstain from sex. It’s essential to remember that your values and beliefs are yours to honor, regardless of whether they align with religious teachings or not.
Finding love without sex as a focal point may seem challenging in a society that often emphasizes physical intimacy. However, it’s entirely possible to build meaningful connections based on shared values, emotional compatibility, and mutual respect.
Consider exploring communities or social circles where individuals prioritize emotional connections and share similar views on intimacy. This might include groups centered around shared interests, hobbies or personal growth activities. Engaging in activities that align with your values can increase the likelihood of meeting like-minded individuals who appreciate your perspective.
Communication is key in any relationship. When dating, be open and honest about your beliefs and intentions from the start. This transparency allows you to connect with individuals who respect and understand your boundaries.
Remember, your journey toward love is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Stay true to yourself, embrace your values, and trust that the right person will appreciate and support you for who you are.
Wishing you strength, patience, and fulfillment on your path to love,
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