Make America Late Again – The San Marco Train Saga

Words by Carmen Macri 

Remember when Wendy’s Twitter account went supernova with their comeback tweets a few years back? Well, brace yourself for déjà vu, but on a neighborhood level. This time, it’s not a fast-food joint, it’s the San Marco Train Twitter account causing a stir. Yep, that infamous train — the one responsible for gridlock, tardiness excuses and a cacophony of noise complaints (seriously, is that volume even legal?)

In 2016, amidst the frustration of the San Marco Train’s notorious delays, a new Twitter account emerged aiming to inject humor into the situation. Yet, its idea of humor involved trolling anyone venting about the train — a move that’s undeniably hysterical. This account, boldly dubbing itself the “hero train,” scoffed at our limited concept of time, often quipping, “You’re welcome for the extra ‘you’ time” to those lamenting their perpetual lateness caused by the sluggish locomotive. Now, being called out by the San Marco Train Twitter account has become a local badge of honor.

Fortunately, “Folio” managed to uncover the genius behind the notorious account: Jack DeYoung, who graciously attributes the inspiration to his boss, Joe Sampson. DeYoung’s tardiness one fateful day, courtesy of the train, prompted a call to Sampson to explain his delay. It was during this conversation that Sampson conceived of the idea of starting the account. DeYoung wasted no time, sending out the inaugural tweet before the train had even passed.

“I started it in 2016 and the social media landscape was pretty vitriolic — I just wanted to inject a little bit of silliness amidst the interminable doomscrolling that was happening at the time,” DeYoung explained. “As far as the train’s movements are concerned, I think the chaotic unpredictability is part of what makes it so frustrating and (hopefully) funny. You’re so beholden to this unpredictable train, and I loved the idea of the train being this unapologetic, self-aggrandizing entity in the face of that. Plus, any chance to be cartoonishly pompous like Stephen Colbert on old episodes of ‘The Colbert Report’ will always be fun for me.”

He truly nailed it with his unabashed, self-aggrandizing, and outrageously pompous demeanor, never skipping a beat, even when an irate commuter tweets about the myriad trivial inconveniences caused by the train.

“I used to OBSESS over the responses in the early days of the account to the point where my wife had to ask me to stop asking her if something sounded like something the train would say. It was more than a little ridiculous,” DeYoung shared. 

Let’s take a stroll down some of our favorite tweets made by the train, shall we? 

Seems like the train has a special knack for picking fights with local news stations, arriving right on cue to delay their broadcasts. It’s like it’s got a schedule specifically designed to mess with their timing.  

“The ‘feuds’ with local personality types like Melissa Ross [former host of “First Coast Connect] and that dude Lew Turner [First Coast News anchor and meteorologist] who seems to just stick his finger out in the air in the morning and call it meteorology (just kidding, that guy rules) is when the larger community got behind it,” DeYoung said.

And don’t worry, even DeYoung has issues with the slow pace of the train too

“People need to realize they can use the slow pace of the train to their benefit. There is nary a person in Jacksonville who won’t accept ‘I was caught by the train’ as an excuse for being late,” DeYoung shared. “Whoever makes the train schedule does seem to have an uncanny knack for anticipating when I’m really in a hurry to arrive somewhere important because that’s when the long one always seems to roll out.”

“I definitely wanted it to be funny in a way that would make my coworkers and my wife laugh. I actually work in digital marketing/social media for a living and the first few posts started off as a way to blow off steam (pun mercifully unintended) and try to find a creative outlet,” said DeYoung.

“I think I’ve got The Train voice down pretty well at this point. I’m fully aware that saying things like ‘The Train voice’ sounds insane, by the way,” DeYoung explained.

“Only one person just couldn’t fathom that it was a parody. I don’t know them personally, but their response was so incensed because they thought CSX or I don’t know, some nefarious locomotive lobby was blocking them and then bragging about it,” DeYoung shared. “The level of their anger blew me away, and truth be told, they were so vociferous in their rage that it probably encouraged me to keep the account going in the early days. You know who you are and I thank you.”

“There was one other person who tweeted in the early days that it wasn’t funny at all. Because I have the emotional maturity of a toddler, I thought about it a lot,” DeYoung explained. “I think I’d be friends with that person, so, if you remember writing that, hit me up so we can complain about why so many people inexplicably like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, or you can give me advice on how to sleep better with newborn twins at home or something.”

When asked if he has received any feedback or reactions from the San Marco train operators or officials, DeYoung responded with:

“Nope. The Second Industrial Revolution waits for no dumb parody account, I’m afraid.”