No Day Left Behind: Is There Any Holiday Too Weird?

March 28, 2024
4 mins read

Words by Carmen Macri 

 

As I write this on March 22nd, it is National World Water Day. When I came up with the idea for this story March 18, it was National Awkward Moments Day. Actually, for the last three weeks, there has been a “national holiday” every single day. Multiple national holidays. Every. Single. Day. 

 

So who comes up with these “holidays”? Is there a board meeting where people gather and converse about which niche events deserve their own holiday? The answer is yes. Well, not necessarily a boardroom committee, but have you ever heard of Chase’s Calendar of Events? It has been the go-to guide for everything about special events, global holidays, festivals, civic observances, historical milestones, famous birthdays and tons more since 1957. Well, they have a form in the back of their catalog where anyone can submit a holiday, and now, we suffer the consequences — like National Bathtub Party Day on Dec. 5 or  National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbors’ Porch Day on Aug. 8 – both courtesy of contributors Thomas and Ruth Roy. 

 

Well, that answers that. 

 

Back in 2013, Marlo Anderson, a South Dakota entrepreneur, created a blog where he would track the obscure holidays. That blog has since turned into the National Day Calendar where companies spend thousands of dollars to have a “national day” proclaimed and promote their special day. Anderson has recently claimed online they have about 30,000 applications a year for new holidays, like National Cool Whip Day on Jan. 5 or National Dole Whip Day which falls on the third Thursday in July.

 

The majority of these charmingly unusual holidays lack official recognition on a federal level. Establishing a genuine national holiday entails a significant amount of effort, as it necessitates legalization through an act of Congress. Wouldn’t it be nice to have work off for Fruitcake Toss Day (Jan 3.)? Though they aren’t technically “real” holidays, it’s still nice to pretend. 

 

Here is a list of some of the more obscure and seemingly pointless national “holidays” (in no particular order):

 

Bean Day – Jan. 6

Because why not? Do you know how many types of beans there are? 

 

Bean Throwing Day – Feb. 2 

Was National Bean Day not enough for you? Well, now you have a day to just … throw beans. Though you are responsible for the consequences of your actions should you choose to throw beans at someone.

 

Squirrel Appreciation Day – Jan. 21 

Because rats with a perm deserve love too! 

 

Panic Day – March 9

Now, this is every day for some of us, but it is nice to have recognition for the malware in our brains. Maybe we can just pent up our panic and let it out on this day only. What could go wrong? 

 

Barbershop Quartet Day – April 11

This just makes sense. I feel like a barbershop quartet is akin to the rise and fall of the Roman Empire 

 

Ex-Spouse Day – April 14

Is Valentine’s Day not really your thing? Well, now you have an entire day to … I’m not sure exactly. Think about your ex-spouse and where it all went wrong? 

 

Lost Sock Memorial Day – May 9

A big F U to all the dryers out there. I think we are all owed financial and emotional compensation for our lost socks (and underwear).

 

Take Your Pants For A Walk Day – July 27

I honestly don’t know. Does it mean taking a walk with your pants on or taking a walk while also carrying a separate pair of pants? These are the answers we need and cannot find. 

 

Bald and Free Day – Oct. 7

Shout out to all of those men with receding hairlines – just shave it off. 

 

Be Late For Something Day – Sept. 5

Have a work meeting? Doctor’s appointment? Well, be late, they will understand. Why would you be on time for something important when you could just … not? (Looking directly at “Folio” creative director.) 

 

Put on Your Own Shoes Day – Dec. 6

We just want to know, if you are not putting on your own shoes, who is? And can we hire them? 

 

National Catfish Day – June 25 

Obviously, this is about the actual fish, but we would like to make an official request to also include the other types of catfish out there … like the ones who use fake pictures online. They deserve recognition too. 

 

National Nothing Day – Jan. 16

Say less. 

 

Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day – Jan. 22

Whose cat submitted this holiday? You should be answering your cat’s questions every day. They are inquisitive little things.

 

National Man Watchers Day – Jan. 8 

A holiday for all you peeping Toms. Ladies, gents and everything in between, take the day to watch the male species as they go about their daily lives. Maybe then we can get some insight into where they find the audacity.  

 

Quitters Day – Jan. 10 

Quit your job! You don’t need it; just print your own money.  

 

National Gorilla Suit Day – Jan. 31

Makes complete and total sense. No description is needed. 

 

National Poop Day – Feb. 10 

Shout out to all the hot girls out there with IBS! You are seen! Go sit atop your porcelain throne! 

 

Be Nasty Day – March 8 

Now this is a holiday. Someone shoved past you and didn’t apologize? Throw your coffee at them. Someone didn’t hold the elevator open for you? There are not enough curses in the English language. A kid is running past you on the sidewalk? You know what to do. (Kidding.)  

 

Barbie-in-a-Blender Day – July 27 

A psychiatrist might be needed. 

 

Since a young age, Carmen Macri knew she wanted to be a writer. She started as our student intern and has advanced to Multi-media Journalist/Creative. She graduated from the University of North Florida and quickly found her home with Folio Weekly. She juggles writing, photography and running Folio’s social media accounts.

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