Harry Moore
Road House
There is an episode of “Family Guy” where Peter watches the action movie Road House starring Patrick Swayze and learns that he can solve all his problems by kicking. For a younger generation, this was the lasting cultural imprint of “Road House.” That and Swayze rips the main bad guy’s throat out of his neck. Anyway, that film has now been remade for modern audiences with Jake Gyllenhaal in the lead as a man who solves all his problems by punching.
Gyllenhaal stars as Dalton, a disgraced UFC fighter turned drifter, who is offered a lucrative job as a bouncer for the rowdiest bar in the Florida Keys, The Road House. But as soon as Dalton arrives and starts taking out the trash, he draws the ire of a local property developer (Billy Magnussen) trying to build a resort on top of the land, who opts for calling in some hired goons to take care of the super-bouncer.
Director Doug Liman is the kind of journeyman filmmaker who was once a common breed in Hollywood. Neither a visionary auteur, a franchise shepherd, nor grinding in the indie scene, Liman has enjoyed a varied filmography of studio films throughout his career ranging from great with “Edge of Tomorrow “and “The Bourne Identity” to forgettable with “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” and flat-out terrible with “Chaos Walking.” “Road House” feels destined to land somewhere between forgettable and enjoyable; some fun bar brawls and a solid performance from an overqualified Gyllenhaal carry the material, but it barely manages to leave an impact otherwise.
The remake fails to live up to the anarchic, B-movie fun of the original, distinctly lacking the necessary ingredients of an ass-kicking Sam Elliott and throat rips. Dalton also sparks up a romance with a local ER nurse (Daniela Melchior) that is such an afterthought it is barely worth noting.
Gyllenhaal has been in an interesting run in his career recently, between performing Shakespeare on Broadway, he has lent his on-screen gravitas almost exclusively to down-and-dirty action films from directors such as Michael Bay and Guy Ritchie, drifting away from intensely committed dramatic performances in dramas like “Prisoners” and “Nightcrawler” that he was once known for. In “Road House” he dials back his patented intensity, giving Dalton a laidback and friendly demeanor that hides his violent, animalistic instincts simmering beneath the surface. In a piece of stunt casting that in no way feels at least five years too late, former UFC star Conor McGregor gives his first film performance, disappearing into his role as a mouthy scumbag with a talent for dishing out violent beatdowns in an almost Day-Lewis-esque transformation. Who knows what roles this thespian will inhabit in the future. Magnussen and Melchior do their best with the material given them, but the screenplay is bloated with too many characters who could have easily been streamlined into fewer, more fleshed out parts.
As a vaguely diverting action movie with a likable leading performance — and a villain who you can really enjoy watching the shit get beat out of — “Road House” just about manages to be a success, but it is held back by an obligatory checklist of uninspired plot beats that the film can barely muster any enthusiasm for. An aggressively OK that is as memorable as a concussion.
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