Dear Dumbs,

Finally on YouTube, I see. Congrats! I really love the visual addition to the show.

I’m a 36-year-old gay man, and I’ve always had straight women come onto me. It happens all the time. Granted a lot of these women have no idea I’m gay until they push it too far and then I have to out myself. On quite a few occasions they didn’t take the news too well, and I never saw them again. But more often than not they seem to try harder.

Terry, you wouldn’t believe what they do and the offers I get. I’ve told some of my straight male friends the details and they are blown away. It’s a side of women I never thought existed. My first question is to Shari, what’s going on here? You would think that woman would be more in tune with being put into these uncomfortable positions. Do you actually think you can change a gay man’s orientation?

Now for you, Terry, is there any better way to turn these ladies down?

Ian L. Mobile, Alabama

TERRY: First off, thank you for thinking I’m to your level of opportunity. I need to know a couple of things first. What exactly are they saying to you? And … can I have a moment alone after you tell me?

SHARI: I have to admit, I’m interested in hearing some of these “offers.”

TERRY: I think it would just make me jealous. I wonder how many guys have pretended to be gay just to get closer to the girl of his dreams.

SHARI: Are you writing some after school movie or something? Let’s help Ian.

TERRY: You’re right. I still need the details. 

SHARI: I am one of those women who has a few close gay male friends, and it is a different kind of friendship. I have girlfriends who dress and undress in front of their gay friends. That’s not my style, but it happens a lot.

TERRY: Do you hear that guys? When your partner says they are hanging out with their gay friend, they don’t have clothes on.

SHARI: Anyway, Ian, I think it shows a lack of respect if they know where you stand and still keep putting the pressure on you.

TERRY: I agree. It’s actually a little sad. How much of this is a beautiful woman turning on the charm because they’ve never been turned down before?

SHARI: It could be an ego thing. But the bottom line is that no means no … no matter your orientation.

TERRY: So it’s settled. They are horrible friends. And as turned on as I am by this, I have to say Shari is right. 

SHARI: Ian, please send us a photo of yourself. I have to see what the fuss is all about.

TERRY: Hey!