FOLIO
By Amy Love, matchmaker and founder of Honey & Flame
Connie L. from St. Augustine expressed that her almost live-in boyfriend has not said “I love you” yet and wants to know when those words should be expected.
Ah, the three little words that can either make your heart soar to new heights or send you into a panic: “I love you.” The timing of this emotional revelation is like a carefully choreographed dance, and the question of who should take the lead in this romantic tango is as old as time itself.
Talking about romantic love and commitment will occasionally scare the breath right out of some lovers. So love and the declaration of those three little words is very connected.
Some argue that it’s a game of emotional chicken with both partners waiting for the other to crack first. After all, saying “I love you” is like opening Pandora’s box — once those words escape your lips, there’s no going back. It’s the relationship equivalent of pulling the pin on a love grenade and hoping for the best.
Where would you be without this thought? The thought of being first to say “I love you.” You might be a lot happier. However, if you cannot clear your mind, remember that someone not saying “I love you” does not mean that you are not worthy of the sentiment. It often comes from issues and limitations stemming from the other person, not you. Which means you get the happy task of moving on to someone else. Someone who sees you and loves you because they can.
In matters of the heart, timing is key. It’s not about beating your partner to the punch; it’s about ensuring the atmosphere is ripe for an emotional confession. If your significant other has just tackled a mountain of dirty dishes or fixed your wonky bookshelf, maybe hold off until they’ve caught their breath.
As for who should say it first, well, chivalry might be dead, but the thrill of being the first to declare love is very much alive. So if you’re feeling the love bubbling up like a well-shaken soda, why not take the plunge? After all, in matters of the heart, fortune favors the bold — just make sure your partner isn’t lactose intolerant before pouring your heart out with that cheesy line. Love is a deliciously unpredictable dish, so savor the moment. Say it when it feels right and enjoy the symphony of emotions that follow.
You may also want to ask yourself — if you don’t want to be the one to say those words first, then do you really love the person at all? Their reciprocation does not need to be your validation. You are all you need for validation. Love hard, love often and don’t ever give up on yourself.
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Allen from Jacksonville asks the question, if after dating six months, should you make your relationship official by posting on social media? His mother says he should wait a few years.
There is a fine line between dating and being in a relationship — it’s like navigating a maze blindfolded with a GPS that occasionally sends you on detours just for laughs. After six months of romantic rollercoaster rides, should you unveil your love story to the world via the social media megaphone?
Dating is like a trial subscription to a streaming service — you’re still browsing the catalog, occasionally buffering, and figuring out if the content is worth the long-term commitment. Being in a relationship, on the other hand, is like upgrading to the premium package — you’ve binged on enough episodes to know this is the series finale you want.
Should you change your relationship status or keep it on the down-low like a secret menu item at your favorite restaurant? Some say it’s like putting a “reserved” sign on your love seat. Others argue it’s a virtual high-five to commitment. Ultimately, I like the sentiment that it’s not that serious. At the end of the day, the one who will care the most is the person you are posting about.
The rules? Well, it’s the digital Wild West out there. Some swear by the “six-month reveal,” while others believe in the mystical “when it feels right” doctrine. In the end, whether you shout your love from the virtual rooftops or keep it hush-hush, just make sure it’s a decision you’re both happy with. Relationships may be complicated, but your status update doesn’t have to be.
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