FOLIO
Dear Dumbs,
I’m a 44-year-old single woman, and I have a bit of a situation.
A little about me first. I have a great job, I take care of myself, and I don’t want to sound egotistical, but I have never had a problem attracting men. I’ve been seeing a guy for a year now. Physically he’s not usually what I go for. But his personality challenged me so he has my interest. He doesn’t treat me the way other men have in the past. Most of them fall in love really quick and this guy played it really cool at first so I hung in there.
This problem is that I’m learning that he’s far from what he says he is. Here’s a list of examples:
1) He’s at least 50 pounds overweight. He said he hurt his back when we first met and that lead to a lot of weight gain. Turns out he just eats a lot.
2) He never has any money to go out due to a couple of bad decisions. He led me to believe that his financial issues would be cleared up by now, and they haven’t.
3) He’s a slob. Absolutely no style. Granted, I live in Jacksonville so that’s pretty normal here, but ball caps and sweats everywhere we go isn’t my idea of a man. There’s a time and place for that but every day?
4) He seems to lie about everything. All I have to do is ask one question and his story changes.
5) He’s plays the part of a victim really well.
I keep hoping he will change. At 50 you would think he would have a few of these things figured out by now. It’s getting to the point where we just stay in and eat a lot. And I find myself OK with that because I don’t want to really be seen on his arm in public. But there’s something about him that makes me want to give him more time.
What are your thoughts? WWSD (What Would Shari Do?)
Lisa B.
TERRY: Hey, what’s wrong with ball caps and sweat pants?
SHARI: Nothing. Just not all the time.
TERRY: What’s an acceptable percentage?
SHARI: How about on date nights for starters?
TERRY: So 1% of the time. Cool.
SHARI: This just may be the easiest question we’ve ever had.
TERRY: Well, I would like to point out how the patented Lex and Terry advice worked, though.
SHARI: What’s that?
TERRY: He who cares the least wins. Act like you don’t care and a woman like Lisa gets all confused and thinks something’s wrong with her.
SHARI: He who cares the least wins works when woman do it too.
TERRY: It’s universal, and we should have won a Nobel Peace Prize for uncovering the information.
SHARI: Lisa, I think if you’re making lists of what you don’t like about a guy then he may not be for you.
TERRY: And to get serious here, you obviously can’t trust the guy.
SHARI: At the end of the day it’s all about trust.
TERRY: This is hard for me because I always want to have the dude’s back. I think overall we’re pretty misunderstood, but this guy’s making it really tough.
SHARI: How about this, Lisa. Why don’t you make a list of all the things you like about him? I bet you can find some, but they will be overshadowed by his lying nature.
TERRY: That’s a great idea. It does seem like this guy’s days are numbered.
SHARI: A year is enough time to know who a person really is.
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