Ambar Ramirez Carmen Macri
Words by Ambar Ramirez & Carmen Macri
Carmen: Ever heard of a tea party? What do you think are the real reasons for such parties? To drink hot tea and eat delicious crumpets? No. It was to talk a massive amount of shit about their courtiers, that’s what. Kidding, kidding … maybe.
Ambar: Gossiping has been ingrained in our history from the beginning of time and hasn’t always been seen as a negative social practice. In fact, during the 12th century, Medieval churches framed gossiping as a morally neutral practice and went as far as using the term in sermons. Many even argue that gossip dates back to our primate cousins in which they loosely gossiped as a way to solidify relationships and form groups of a larger size. So when did gossip become something negative?
Carmen: Cue the patriarchy ruining everything for women. Today, gossip usually refers to a person (usually female) who talks about other people’s private lives. But at its very core, gossiping is just a form of communicating, albeit, a very entertaining form of communication.
Ambar: I would be lying if I said I didn’t gossip. I would also be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy gossiping. And surprise, surprise, if you claim that you don’t gossip, then you’re also a liar. Everyone gossips. It’s actually very natural and can be traced through developmental, cultural and evolutionary levels.
Carmen: Patriarchal values wasted no time in swooping down and giving gossip a makeover, shaking it to its core. Now, gossiping, as we all know, isn’t exactly picky about who participates, but back in the Middle Ages, women who indulged in it did so right out in the open, practically painting a target on their backs for danger and shame to take aim. Meanwhile, the guys? Well, they were still in on the chatter, but they had the luxury of huddling up in private to do their thing.
Ambar: Over time, gossip became something only women did. And god forbid men share anything with women. We all know who heels were originally created for, right? Once common folk and women started wearing heels, men of higher rank couldn’t fathom wearing them anymore. Regardless, this isn’t a hate piece on men.
Carmen: Or is it?
Ambar: OK … maybe it is. But more importantly, it’s a hate piece on the patriarchy. Sorry, not sorry. Because you know what happened the second gossiping became something “dangerous”? Witch trials.
Carmen: Basically being a woman with friends — witchcraft. Being a woman who enjoys chit chatting with her friends — witchcraft. Enjoying spices and essential oils — burning at the stake.
Ambar: I wish we were joking. In 1547 a proclamation was issued against the “gossip and babble of women” with the stated purpose of fending against witchcraft. Like what??? Explain how that makes sense.
Carmen: Men literally forbade women from speaking. So much so that they invented a “gossip bridle” which is essentially a sadistic mask made of metal and leather placed in the same fashion you would put a muzzle on a dog — I am not even kidding — and walk them through their town for public humiliation … for chit chatting.
Ambar: I have no words. How did something that comes naturally to humans become a way to dehumanize women? I’m genuinely asking.
Carmen: This is now a hate piece on men.
Ambar: I am officially starting a petition to forbid men from gossiping. Actually, simply forbid them from speaking. Period.
Carmen: Going back to the bridle… it was often studded with spikes so that if the offender moved her tongue it inflicted pain and made speaking impossible.
Ambar: Once again, this is a hate piece on men.
Carmen: How did we get here?
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