Boy Dinner

Words and Photo by Amiyah Golden

Because we’re girls and we truly can’t have anything our own, our viral trend “girl dinner” has now been infiltrated by the male species with their own rendition: “boy dinner.” 

If you are reading this with a furrowed brow because you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, let me catch you up.

The terms, “girl dinner” and “boy dinner” refer to a “typical” dinner that correlates with each respective gender. Girl dinner usually consists of a mish-mash of various foods that make no sense together, and boy dinner generally depicts rice and beans, a protein shake and a beer (which also make no sense together).

This trend was originally started to incite relatability but has now sparked discourse around a troubling issue — eating disorders.

As more users began to participate, the shared experience — originally highlighting foods like mac and cheese with dinosaur nuggets — has now turned grim, as girls begin to show off a plate of lettuce and a handful of almonds as their proclaimed dinner. (But you can read more about this in Su’s story.) Even if it wasn’t intentional, most of the accounts sharing their own girl dinners are prominent models or influencers – the majority of them already existing in the realm of social media where they embody the societal beauty standard — luring girls and women alike to feel pressured to participate in an eating culture that’s not sustainable or healthy.

While most people have honed in on the girl side of things, I saw much similarity with the guys’ version. It spiraled me down the path of gym “bros” and the daunting silence that surrounds diet culture when it comes to men.

The discussion surrounding men’s mental health is often swept under the rug — due, in part, to the unrealistic standards society has placed on men:

“Be strong!”

“Don’t cry!”

“Don’t let them strip you of your masculinity!” (whatever that means …)

And with all these labels we are never fully equipped to handle the effects these ideologies foster. With lots of little boys growing up in environments that prioritize physical strength over mental wellness, it breeds a mindset that physical aesthetics will ultimately move you further along in life — which is not true.

I’ve talked to so many men about why they have started their fitness journeys and it always leads back to outside validation, feeding a cycle that keeps men away from parties because of their fear of going over their macros or filling their plates with 3,000 calories (exactly) of chicken and rice — or vice versa and only consuming foods within their calorific deficit. I have heard all ends.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with having fitness goals and having to adjust some habits to reach your goals but not when it blurs the line of mental well-being. It’s so important to have the conversation surrounding disordered, but often times not taken as seriously when a man is at the forefront.

It trickles down to breaking down gender “norms” that we have instilled in our communities, that don’t promote healthy thinking but further cater to the idea that all men need to align with this “alpha-male”, body-building lifestyle that everyone is not simply built for.

Protein powder, a cigarette and a beer is not sustainable but, neither is 1,300 calories of food every day for an adult male that is 6’5”.

Attaining 20% body fat is never worth a life of misery.

Eating is power, it’s fuel and necessary. Your body exists in so many unique ways and forms and it’s OK for it to change — that’s a part of life.

Trends are fun and so is social media, but some things we must take a deeper look into and differentiate if it’s all for laughs and engagement or is it a cry for help?