FOLIO
Dear Dumbs,
I listen to your podcast every Monday. Thank you for putting yourselves out there. You’re doing good in a lighthearted way.
I have a pretty big issue. It’s so big I’m using an alias to protect everyone involved.
My husband was in a toxic marriage for 11 years. It was so bad that he made the horrible decision of hiring a prostitute to help him through his “dark period.” His previous wife had cheated on him, and he felt that was a way to even the score.
He told me this while we were dating, and I thought I would be able to get over his use of a hooker. It’s so dirty and gross to think of him like that. We’ve now been married for three years, and it still makes me question his character. I’ve even gone to therapy about this, and it didn’t help at all.
Maybe you both could help me sort it out or at the very least do one of your classic reenactments.
All the best.
Viki
Florida
TERRY: This is a great Dear Dumbs. We have hookers!
SHARI: Nothing better than a hooker, Terry.
TERRY: I have never employed the services of one, and I can’t imagine ever doing so. That being said, because of the Lex and Terry Show I do know a few who have become actual friends of mine. This will come into play later on …
SHARI: Yes, and I’ve met a few of them too. Nice people. I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of sympathy for your situation, Viki. I mean, I wouldn’t enjoy thinking about Terry using a hooker’s service, but if it was before we even met, I can’t see where it would have anything to do with me.
TERRY: Yes. Viki, you really should give him credit for being honest with you. He never had to tell you this. I’m not so sure I would ever reveal that information. You talk about character.
SHARI: Maybe this will help, Viki. Think of prostitutes as offering a valuable service, much like a barber or a manicurist. At the end of the day, it’s just a business transaction. Two consenting adults fulfilling a contract.
TERRY: Maybe this will also help. Time for you to start dressing like a hooker, Viki.
SHARI: Ha! Not at all, Viki! Don’t listen to Terry. Just because I’m advocating for prostitutes doesn’t mean I’m suggesting YOU have to be a hooker. You be you. But give your husband some slack here.
TERRY: Boring.
SHARI: Yup. Some guys like boring, OK? Seriously, Viki, I get that you can’t get past this. But I’m sure there’s probably something in your past you’re not completely proud of (I hope). Should your husband think less of you for that? I don’t think so. I would like to suggest that you worry about the things that matter, like if he’s a kind, caring person or if he pays his taxes.
TERRY: Great advice, Shari. I said earlier that I would get back to this point. You need to give him credit for his honesty. That is true character. He did it. He had his reasons for doing it and I’m sure he felt ridiculous for doing so. I’m sorry you can’t get the vision out of your head. You’re not wrong for feeling some kind of way about this, but it’s time to move forward.
SHARI: Yes, remember it really has nothing to do with you. He made a decision you don’t agree with and that is that. If he’s a good guy and he loves you, count yourself lucky to have each other.
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