Does pheromone spray actually work?
By Ambar Ramirez and Carmen Macri
Carmen: Ambar and I have been working together for seven months and within those seven months we realized … We are the exact same person. We aren’t the only people who had this ah-ha moment. Our coworkers confuse us all the time. So we decided to take our combined minds and create a column where we are going to be talking about everything.
Ambar: Literally everything. From social experiments to conspiracy theories. Music, art and entertainment. You name it, and we are going to talk about it and be as real as possible with our one shared brain cell.
Carmen: For our first go-round we decided to go all out. Have you ever heard of pheromones?
Ambar: According to trusty, dusty Google, pheromones are a naturally released molecule, widely used by invertebrates for mating. The release of pheromones often signals a specific response, and in recent years, pheromone spray has been fabricated and used for attracting the opposite or same sex.
Carmen: So, we put it to the test. We decided to buy some pheromone spray off Amazon and hit the beach bars. Obviously, we had to control the experiment, so we enlisted fellow writer and friend Molly Britt to be our guinea pig … while we observed the results.
Ambar: For the first hour, Molly was pheromone spray free. We wanted to see what her natural pheromones would attract. And after the hour was up, we would lather her … literally, lather her in pheromone spray.
Carmen: Without the enhanced power of pheromones, Molly’s first victim was a fossil of a man. Maybe it was the beautiful rendition of “Come Together” by the Beatles that brought this unlikely pair together.
Ambar: Then for the rest of the first hour, Molly was more engaged with the basketball game on TV than anything else.
Carmen: After the hour was up, we stole Molly from the bar, covered her in pheromones, and sent her to the dance floor. Within the first five minutes, her fossil was back. I’m telling you, repeat offender.
Ambar: I would also like to note that Carmen put on pheromone spray, slightly compromising our experiment.
Carmen: I wanted to see if my boyfriend would put the moves on later. (He did).
Ambar: Anyway, back to our controlled subject. Molly went to the bar to grab another drink.
Carmen: In comes flannel guy! We loved the flannel guy.
Ambar: They seemed to hit off and spoke for about 15 minutes, but then Molly had to scamper off to the restroom. Leaving flannel guy all to his lonesome. I think he went off in search of her, but by this time Molly was out on the back patio.
Carmen: In comes the blue polo guy!
Ambar: We were outside watching some guys play cornhole, naturally, and the blue polo guy promised to win for Molly. But, alas, he lost… losing Molly in the process. I think he was too distracted by her presence, and it messed up his game. On to the next!
Carmen: We all knew this time would come. There were too many pheromones in the air and Molly started to hit on me, shamelessly.
Ambar: That did indeed happen. And I would also like to mention that it was around this time that a man started to hit on me, pheromone spray free. Shoutout JOJO (not Jojo Siwa, just a local)!
Carmen: This is about two hours into our experiment, it was getting pretty late and the pheromones were working so my boyfriend and I went home… if you know what I mean. 😉
Ambar: After Carmen left, Molly ran into her next and final victim … tattoo/firefighter guy. Now they really seemed to be hitting it off. Chatting for 30 minutes or so. This guy was practically on his hands and knees begging for Molly’s number, so she caved and gave it to him.
Carmen: I wonder if there will be a first date on the horizon?
Ambar: I hope so. He was a cutie.
So we ask you, did the pheromone spray work? Or was it the increased amount of alcohol in everyone’s bloodstream? What do you think?