Your Worst Dates Ever

February 1, 2023
by
1 min read

  • One time, after a date, rather than a kiss or a hug, a man shook my hand. It was very sad and limp.

 

  • I dont know if this counts since it was hours after our date, but the man I went on a date with got a little too intoxicated and wound up falling asleep during intercourse. I quite literally mean DURING intercourse. Connect the dots with that one. 

 

  • Met a guy at the bar, knew he was older but wasnt sure how much older.. We wound up hitting it off, and I went home with him. He had told me his kids were home but sleeping soundly. Turns out he has several kids, his oldest being 19 (I was  21 at the time). Long story short, I went to high school with not one but two of his kids. Literally snuck out of his window in case they recognized me.

 

  • Woke up at a guy’s house and he offered me a shirt (so nice right? Chivalry isnt dead… so I thought.) Anyway, he was in his closet for like 10 minutes. I was so confused as to why he was taking so long to pick out a shirt. That is when he turned to me and said “I just can’t find a shirt that screams, ‘See you never.’” I have never been so humbled.

 

  • After what I thought was a lovely date, I dropped him off at his house. He proceeded to get out of my car, turn around, and throw a whole ass Philly cheesesteak and large Dr Pepper at my face through the window. Turns out he was on drugs. I sent him to rehab. There was not a second date. 

Folio is your guide to entertainment and culture around and near Jacksonville, Florida. We cover events, concerts, restaurants, theatre, sports, art, happenings, and all things about living and visiting Jax. Folio serves more than two million readers across Jacksonville and Northeast Florida, including St. Augustine, The Beaches, and Fernandina.

Current Issue

SUBMIT EVENTS

Submit Events

Advertisements

An Evening with Jason Isbell
The Amp
Collision Homecoming
JWJ Park Events
omaha-steaks-banners

Date

Title

Current Month

Follow FOLIO!

Previous Story

Singles Survival Guide To Valentine’s Day

Next Story

Tuff Turf

Latest from Feature

RIVERDANCE is 30 years young

Riverdance 30 – The New Generation is not only bringing new choreography to the show, but it is also introducing a new generation of dancers, none of whom were born when Riverdance first took to the stage 30 years ago.  Emissaries for the show, Irish siblings Anna Mai and Fergus

Empty Register: The Band That Spans Across City Lines

Words and Photos by Amiyah Golden  A couple months back, I was enjoying a night that was filled with a variety of tunes under the Riverside Arts Market Bridge. As I watched the next group prepare for their set, the static flow of expectancy was instead disrupted by something

Political Schemes and The TikTok Ban 

Words by Ambar Ramirez In the weeks leading up to the TikTok ban, there were faint glimmers of hope that it might be delayed. But alas, influencers who had risen to fame on the endlessly addictive platform began bidding their followers goodbye; Red Note quickly claimed the top spot

The Ultimate V-Day Day-trip Guide

Words by Carmen Macri Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and whether you see it as a Hallmark invention designed to sell cards and make single people feel worse, or you’re happily coupled up and not as jaded as the rest of us, chances are you’re looking for

Letterboxd Reviews

Words by Waverly Loyd Some things just write themselves. But this got me thinking… everyone has their guilty pleasure movies. Their “hear me out” movies. These are movies that in the cinephile world, you know you would get a 60-second head start after confessing your love for them. Seriously
July 5th Cleanup
GoUp