FOLIO
Dear Dumbs,
I can’t tell you how much I look forward to your podcast every Monday. It’s my favorite along with my Gang of Two tee shirt.
I have a pretty serious situation I’d like to get your thoughts on.
I’ve been married for 11 years, and I believe my husband’s drinking is really becoming a problem. Before we got married he had a DUI. Because of that I’ve always paid close attention to the amount he drinks. I don’t pester him about it. I just make a mental note.
Over the past year or so he seems to be drinking more, and in February he was hit with his second DUI. Thank God nobody was hurt. When he drinks socially, it’s always to excess. Even though he tells me he’s “only had a couple of beers,” his demeanor tells a different story.
We have two sons who see him in that state when he comes home, and they immediately retreat to their room. This breaks my heart, and for that reason alone I feel like something has to be done.
I don’t necessarily want a divorce, but if he doesn’t grow up, I will be forced to leave. The drinking and the lies that come with it are reason enough. I’m just not sure how to handle this. Do I leave when he’s hammered? Do I stage an intervention and give him a chance?
Sherry P.
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL
TERRY: I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
SHARI: I have some definite thoughts here, Sherry. I have a little experience with this.
TERRY: Wait. What?
SHARI: Not with you, ya dork. My stepfather. Remember? We had to do an intervention with him.
TERRY: I will never forget. Your brother cracked open a beer during it. Classic. Before we get to that, I would get a place to go with your kids every time this happens. They don’t need to see that.
SHARI: Yes. Take care of the kids first. Then you have to address his situation. Even though we had no clue how to perform an intervention, I believe it worked.
TERRY: Yep. I’m pretty sure drinking a Bud Lite at 1 isn’t part of the plan. But yes, he did pull it together after that.
SHARI: I believe you have to give him a chance to save it. But everything has to be on the table.
TERRY: I would learn how to do a proper intervention though. I think we just got lucky. It’s a serious issue with serious consequences.
SHARI: I feel for you, Sherry. Please do all you can to help but stick to your guns. And Terry is right. If an intervention is in yours and his future, please do it right and bring in a professional.
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