Dear Dumbs,

My wife and I love your podcast. In fact, we’ve listened to last weeks three times now. You both inspire us.

I’ve been asked to be the Best Man for my friends wedding. He’s very traditional so we’re doing all the pain in the ass wedding stuff. I mean, by the book. One of my many requirements is the thing everybody’s waiting for, the speech. In the speech I’m supposed to talk about and share stories of, what a perfect couple they are. How he’s changed since meeting her. Well, he’s changed a lot. She has taken away any dream he’s had and there’s no spark in his eye anymore. She’s turned him into a purse holder. Nobody likes this woman. Nobody. So how do I stand up there and lie in front of everybody?

Marshall L

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

TERRY: This is a touchy subject for me. I’ve been “honored” to serve as Best Man twice and both times left me feeling bad about myself.

SHARI: Yes, and you did a great job. But only half of the couples are still together. Is it you?

TERRY: Not my fault. I tried to warn him.

SHARI: Marshall, I’m wondering how much time there is before the wedding? If it’s still months away maybe you should have a discussion about whether he should marry this person? I wouldn’t suggest doing it the day before but if it’s far enough out and they can get their deposit money back, maybe have a come-to-Jesus with him?

TERRY: This is where I’m torn. I think they’re counting on you to be in their corner here. You’re not the relationship guru. You’re the Best Man. With that title comes a lot of responsibility. Just not that kind. You don’t make or break a marriage. I can sympathize with the position he put you in though. You are going to look bad if you gush all over her.

SHARI: Good point. Marshall, how about if you focussed your speech on your friend and what a great guy he is? You don’t have to say anything about them as a couple. I mean what are they going to do – ask for their money back?!

TERRY: Good point Shari. I found myself in a similar situation. I told the guy that everybody thought he was making a mistake. It wasn’t fun. Turned out we all were right. But it changed our relationship.

SHARI: Yes, and the wedding went ahead anyway. It sounds like we’re in agreement. Marshall, don’t say anything about the bride. Do your best man duty and let the marital chips fall where they may.

TERRY: Maybe you can get some explosive diarrhea.

SHARI: There’s always that. I think if you just say something nice about your friend, you won’t be betraying yourself and you will have fulfilled your duty.

TERRY: OK. It’s settled. You’re going to say and do the right thing. Those in attendance will know what you really wanted to say and applaud  you for being a good friend.