Dear Dumbs

Help me! An old bat keeps calling me fat.

Question:

Dear Dumbs,

I love the podcast. It’s my go to. I was wondering if you can help me here.

I have a problem with my mother. She’s 82 years old. Almost every time we talk she talks about how she hates fat people and mentions how other family members are so fit.

The problem is that I’m fat and I feel like she’s taking shots at me. Am I overreacting? Is she passive-aggressive? Should I say something?

Trinity, Orange Park

Response:

SHARI: Oh boy, Trinity. I feel your pain. Overreacting? No. Passive-aggressive? Yes. Say something? Yes.

TERRY: Oh yes, that’s right. Shari’s mom once said she had fat arms.

SHARI: It was weird. Came out of the blue. But it’s stuck with me for years. Trinity, I didn’t mean to make this about me at all. That’s all Terry’s fault. I would think that at the very least, you could be prepared with a comeback for her next verbal assault.

TERRY: Yes! I have one for you. Next time she insinuates you’re fat, just say. “Are you still alive you old bat?”

SHARI: We have all kinds of comebacks if you need them.

TERRY: Since you’ve let these slide for so long we can eliminate that you’re overreacting. You’re right though. I’ve seen this mother before. The under the breath comments drive me crazy. 

SHARI: Since Terry’s parents passed when he was young, I feel that I need to help you here and leave Mr. “Are you alive?” Out of this.

TERRY: Good. I want a sandwich anyway.

SHARI: I would defiantly say something though. I also believe you shouldn’t beat around the bush. Something like, “Here we go, we’re back to calling me unhealthy again are we? I don’t appreciate your approach mom.” Let her know how it makes you feel and that if she continues you’ll cut off the conversation. She will finally get it and you’ll feel good about standing up for yourself. Let us know if saying something works. I’m on your side here. These mother/daughter relationships can be tough. I’ve over 50 and my mom still tries to manipulate me. We’re all adults. It’s time to start acting like it.

About EU Jacksonville

october, 2021

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