Dear Dumbs: Polyamorous Son

DEAR DUMBS, I’m a single mother to a 14 year old boy. I do my best to answer all his questions, however there are many I can’t handle. For example: He hasn’t had a girlfriend. Still too young for that. However he informed me that a lot of girls think that he’s nice and helpful. He says he loves every one of them and because of that, he believes he won’t be able to love only one girl when he gets older. What are your thoughts?



TERRY: That sounds about right.

SHARI: Victoria, you have yourself a player (or at least at this stage of his life). It’s way too early yet to see how this will play out since he hasn’t had a chance to see what kind of girls will agree to this arrangement. But they are out there!

TERRY: You have to admit it. It’s pretty funny in a cute kinda way. I have had quite a few friends who have said the same thing. In fact, there was a time in my life that I wondered if I could be dedicated to one woman. You ladies really know how to put a spell on a guy.

SHARI: When I think about what I thought when I was 14, I cringe. I probably thought I’d have a couple kids because that’s what society expected. But as I grew older, I realized that children just wasn’t my thing. Most likely your son is going to change his mind – a lot. I think the best thing for you to do is relax and set a good example for him and womankind in general. If you’re in a long term relationship, show him (don’t tell – never works) that it can be rewarding.

TERRY: From a man’s point of view I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing to be concerned about. Like I said, every guy I know has thought this at one point. I’ve seen guys take this into their 40’s which gets kind of sad. But even with those guys, there’s that one woman (maybe two or three) that comes into their life that changes their mind. Maybe tell him that his feelings are perfectly normal and everything will change when he meets the right woman. Get ready for a fun ride Victoria.