CRIME Edition

The South Florida school shooting on Valentine’s Day that left 17 dead may have been avoided had the FBI followed its own standard operating procedures. Miami New Timesreports that on Jan. 5, someone “close to Nikolas Cruz,” the shooter, called the bureau to warn them about his weapons and desire to commit a school shooting.

This wasn’t the only bite at the apple that law enforcement failed to take, however. MNT notes that last September, a YouTube user emailed the FBI saying that someone with Cruz’s names had threatened violence online.

On the other hand, as the story points out, there has been much finger-pointing on all sides; some blaming law enforcement, or anyone who noticed Cruz’s reportedly strange and violent behavior and did nothing, or lax gun control laws, or the nation’s sore lack of services for and awareness of mental health. Suffice it to say, there’s plenty of blame to go around. But most falls on Cruz.

When you think of Cincinnati, if you ever do, the first thing that leaps to your mind is probably … um … hold, please … oh, yeah! The Bengals. (Thanks, Google.) Hamilton County, Ohio should actually be known for something that’s no laughing matter: Being the county to send the most people to death row since Ohio reinstituted the death penalty in 1981. City Beat reports that “With 24 people currently awaiting execution for cases tried in the county, it currently ranks No. 22 in America’s 3,000 counties when it comes to the number of inmates on death row—higher than the counties containing major cities like Los Angeles and Miami.” Two death row inmates, Raymond Tibbetts and Robert Van Hook, are scheduled for execution this year. Guess who has a little something in common with Hamilton County? Dirty, Deadly Duuuuvalll. According to a 2014 report by the Christian Science Monitor, Duval County had the highest per capita rate for inmates on death row; and, as of 2013, had 60 inmates on death row. (That number should dwindle as the new sentencing guidelines requiring a unanimous recommendation of death, rather than simple majority, affects future outcomes.)

Politicians are notorious for treating public funds like their own personal piggybanks, spending our money like Johnny Depp on a bender. (We won’t name names this time. You know who you are.) One clever South Carolina criminal who either has a unique sense of justice or is utterly stupid decided to get their money back from politicians by opening fraudulent bank accounts in their names online. Columbia Free Timesreports that a hacker has stolen personal information from at least four City Council members and the city manager.

A number of law enforcement agencies are investigating the identity theft scheme.

Oui, we do love New Orleans! The food, the music, the language, the culture, the 24/7 open container laws, and especially the nudity! Tired of the party, those spoilsports in law enforcement raided eight strip clubs in the French Quarter and revoked their liquor licenses, according to Gambit Weekly. What happened next would happen only in Nawlins. Strippers took to the streets to protest losing their jobs.

GW took note of the fact that, though the raids were ostensibly designed for a noble purpose—tackling human trafficking—not a single arrest associated with such was made. Clubs have successfully negotiated for reinstatement of their liquor licenses, but the exotic tradespersons are far from mollified, saying that these raids, which call forth memories of a string of busts in 2015’s “Operation Trick or Treat,” create an environment of uncertainty and fear. “A lot of people are just feeling like, well, when is the next raid going to happen?” dancer Janelle Robinson (not her real name) told GW. “And when [are the clubs] going to be closed for good?”