Fun fact: Golf is boring. It’s quiet, there’s no official food, and you can barely see what’s happening. Watching a small, white ball go from one hole to another, or arc against the clouds, invisible, is not my idea of fun. So when everyone raved about sport multiplex TOPGOLF, I was more than skeptical. Spoiler alert: I actually enjoyed it.
The hulking building at St. Johns Town Center can be seen from the highway. If it’s your first time there, check in at the front and pay a one-time $5 registration fee.
In your assigned bay, test the driver and work on putting more oomph in your backswing (I have it on good authority these are real golf terms). While you wait your term, check out the full food and drink menu.
There are options beyond the usual bar menu, but Topgolf shines in its comfort zone–burgers and cold ones. For something more creative, try flatbreads like the Prosciutto, Artichoke & Olive ($10) or Mushi ($10), a take on Mexican sushi. It’s a burrito wrapped neatly and sliced into circles, giving the feel of sushi. It’s listed as an app, but it’s got everything you want in a full burrito: rice, beans, chicken, cheese, all topped with sriracha. All the dishes and drinks are served on proper china, which makes you feel a little special.
Like I said, though, the burger ($10.50) is where it’s at. It includes a choice of fries or tots. (You’re insane if you don’t order the tots.) The tots are served in an adorable mini fryer basket. The real star on this plate is the well-seasoned patty atop its bun throne. If I could give the burger an emoji with heart eyes, I would. This perfectly cooked burger (medium, always) with its crown of tomato, lettuce and onion makes a flawless bite. There are others, like Sunrise Burger ($12.50) (with an egg) or Mac Daddy ($13), loaded with mac and cheese, but I’m a classic kinda gal.
Now: S’mores. Topgolf doesn’t disappoint here. Not saying they were Sandlot-worthy, but they were perfect for the time and place. A plate includes four decent-sized s’mores, with the marshmallow fluff nicely caramelized by a blowtorch. Then the whole situation is drizzled with chocolate sauce.
The cocktail menu includes favorites like Moscow Mules and fruit drinks with umbrellas. The Moscow Mule had a nice, subtle ginger flavor, but it tasted a little too watered-down to earn five stars. Since you’ll be swinging a club when it’s your turn to step up to the plate (oops, is that baseball? More on that next week.), choose dishes that are easy to take a bite of then set down for a swing.
Topgolf is definitely kid- and adult-friendly. Try it this summer, so when fall weather comes around, you won’t be embarrassed on the links again.
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