DAVI for President

Dear Davi,

I’m on the fence about my vote this presidential election. Who do you think is ready for the challenge?

Marty the Maine Coon



If you want a candidate who’s always on the ball — or chasing it — and someone who’s reliable and plays well with others, then put my name on the ballot. I am ready to run this race. Forget about the political phooey going on and read my spiel — it says it all:

I am affiliated with the party that serves the most TREATS — what’s a party without treats? Having a full belly and a happy home will always be my top priorities for every dog in our great nation.

Our country was founded on the promise of equality. I will live up to this idea and treat everyone equally, even the mailman who keeps coming back. All people, like all butts, are created equal and worth sniffing.

Like a boss, I will forge friendships and establish allies with creatures of every walk of life, including cats. Our feline friends are necessary for human companionship and keeping the rodent population in check.

I always look for the best in everyone and would never judge fellow dogs based on the color of their fur, or the collars they wear, or the streets they walk, or the beds they share.

Don’t be fooled by my size. I was bred to hunt badgers — and tackle BIG government! The only thing about government that should be BIG is the cabinet — filled with snacks.

Bark softly and carry a big stick is my motto. As pack leader, I am prepared to protect and defend our nation — no matter what. Your safety is my doo-ty. I will stand tall with my tail raised, ready to take on any challenge and bring calm to the storm — thunder jackets for everyone!

I believe in bi-paw-tisanship and refuse to let political and personal clashes — or a feisty squirrel — interfere with getting the job done. Let’s find common ground and dig a hole to bury our differences.

A dog’s loyalty is second to none. Count on me to always be by your side. Other candidates might profess their loyalty to win support, but do they excitedly greet you at the door – every day — with a wagging tail and friendly woof?

I’m a straight-shooter who will work for the people — the tail won’t be wagging THIS dog. Putting others before myself is an important quality of being a good dog and a good leader.

Whether you’re a French bulldog or a German shepherd, I will build diplomacy and bring together dogs of all nationalities.

I live in the moment and will encourage others to do the same. Enjoy the simple things: Lie in the sunshine, roll on a stinky spot — it’s all good.

I never hold back and don’t mind getting my paws dirty for the good of our country — and the world.

Every dog deserves his day — and mine is Election Day! See you at the polls!



Davi the dachshund doesn’t have any political experience — yet.

This is not a paid advertisement for a political candidate.