UNTIL THE REAL THING COMES ALONG

Polish Academy of Sciences researchers, writing recently in Zoo Biology, reported witnessing 28 acts of fellatio by two orphaned male bears at a sanctuary in Kuterevo, Croatia — the first-ever report of bear fellatio from 116 hours of scientific observation over six years. In each case, researchers wrote, the older male was the receiver; researchers speculated the episodes were less sexual in nature than a reflection of the bears’ “early deprivation of maternal suckling.”