In a popular April “viral” Internet news story, three young men were spotted on late-night surveillance video at a drinking-water reservoir near Portland, Oregon, with one of them relieving himself into the 38-million-gallon facility. Utility officials first decided to flush the entire contents rather than endure complaints by customers (most of whom were likely unaware the same reservoir routinely tolerates wild-animal urination, long ago declared no health risk). Dallas Jeffrey Delynn, 18, was charged with trespassing and unlawful urination and might receive a sentence similar to that of Portland’s last reservoir urinater: 24 hours’ community service. By contrast, a week later in San Antonio, Texas, Daniel Athens, 23, was sentenced to 18 months in prison for his late-night tinkle. Athens pleaded guilty to urinating against an outside wall of The Alamo — a sacred Texas monument.