SCORPIO: March 26-April 1

When a human embryo begins to develop in the womb, the first body part to appear is — can you guess? — the anus. This scientific fact led witty commentators at to state “Every human being starts out as an asshole.” They were making a joke, hinting that each of us has an unattractive quality or two that make us at least a little bit of a jerk. That’s the bad news. The good news? You have an unprecedented chance to transform your personality’s asshole aspects. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not an asshole, not even a little. It’s true that the weeks ahead are a good time to try to fix or at least temper your least attractive qualities.