ARIES: March 26-April 1

I’ve coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. “Zex,” short for “zen sex,” is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thought. You breathe slowly and calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan slowly and calmly. You’re completely detached from the sensual pleasure you’re experiencing. You have no goals other than the intention to be free of all goals. Zex is the ONLY variety of sex I recommend for you. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Zex may be fine to practice any other time, but not these days. The style of sex you need most is exuberant, unbridled, expansive and zany.