ARIES: Oct. 16-22

October 16, 2013
by
1 min read

ARIES (March 21-April 19): This is an indelicate oracle. If you’re offended by the mention of bodily functions in a prophetic context, STOP READING NOW. Still here? OK. I was walking in my neighborhood when I spied an older woman standing over her aged Yorkshire Terrier next to a bush. The dog was in discomfort, squatting and shivering but unable to relieve himself. “He’s having trouble getting his business done,” his owner confided. “He’s been struggling for 10 minutes.” I felt sympathy for the distressed creature. With a flourish, I said, “More power to you, little one. May you purge your burden.” The dog instantly defecated. Shrieking her approval, the lady exclaimed, “It’s like you waved a magic wand!” Now I invoke my wizardry on your behalf, though less literally: “More power to you. May you purge your psychological burden.”

Folio is your guide to entertainment and culture around and near Jacksonville, Florida. We cover events, concerts, restaurants, theatre, sports, art, happenings, and all things about living and visiting Jax. Folio serves more than two million readers across Jacksonville and Northeast Florida, including St. Augustine, The Beaches, and Fernandina.

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