An Excuse for Everything

Richard Blake took the witness stand in Ottawa, Ontario, in January to deny he’d invaded a home and stabbed two people several times. With a straight face, he had an answer for all incriminating evidence. He had the perp’s car because “a stranger” had just handed him the keys; he didn’t recall what the stranger looked like (but guessed he probably resembled Blake, because for some reason Blake got picked out of the lineup); he donned the stranger’s bloody knit cap (abandoning his own cap); he handled the stranger’s knife and bloody glove, and that’s why his DNA was on them; he fled at the first sight of police, ramming a cruiser to escape (even though he’d “done nothing wrong”); he fled on foot after the crash and hid in a tree (but only to get away from a swarm of black flies). After deliberating politely for a day, the jury found him guilty.