by brenton crozier
Society has an insatiable hankering for things that are fast and things that are free. This desire, mixed in with mankind’s unremitting longing to better him or herself, makes the internet one truly irresistible and calorie-free concoction. This wild frontier of funny cat videos, endless nudity and virtually-fostered friendships holds the keys to thrusting you from the cruel grip of mediocrity to the upper stratosphere of awesome.
We’re not talking empty platitudes or seven steps to being the best you, this is pragmatic, applicable stuff that is going to bring true happiness to your life. No longer will you have to rely on the smile of your child, a thoughtful Hallmark sentiment or your favorite television program (you’ll probably still need your favorite television program) to achieve happiness. I mean, how great is your kid’s smile when you compare it to making your own Bordelaise sauce? Laugh when someone offers you a card with its hollow words of encouragement as you throw down the Bollywood dance moves you’ve learned. Forgo that boring Facebook update and instead bestow that much-deserved praise on yourself now that you can understand your cat’s behavior.
In fact, forget taking the keys and unlocking these fruitful doors, kick those doors in (you can learn how to do that as well) and prepare to reveal the new and totally amazing you.
Don’t worry fellas, 5min.com isn’t a lady’s directory about your prowess in the bedroom. This site is quite fantastic, actually, and offers free lessons and do-it-yourself videos that cover an immense array of topics from fashion, fitness and food to music, parenting and video games.
In addition to practical lessons about replacing a spark plug or installing a granite kitchen countertop, you can find succinct, well-made videos that aim to bring you knowledge. I just learned about Hinduism in one minute and twenty seconds. Not impressed? Fine hotshot, I just digested the underpinnings of Peter Parker’s psyche that lead him to fight crime as Spiderman in one-minute and twenty-three seconds. Adding that fascinating tidbit that I can now weave into any conversation to the killer Bordelaise sauce (three minutes and forty-four seconds) that I can now cook and I’m one undeniable female magnet. It’s OK ladies, I know, I watched the Signs That She Is Interested in You video (one minute and fifteen seconds).
This site is completely free and in staying with the theme, fast. They only ask that you endure a fifteen second commercial before watching your tutorial.
Monkey See offers a robust selection of tutorials that range from the simple Learn to Change a Flat Tire and Making an American Grilled Cheese Sandwich to the much more intricate Making Your Teenager Listen and How to Invest in CDs, Money Market Accounts and blah blah blah.
Go ahead, ask me how I just spent my last three minutes and ten seconds. I learned how to minimize the chance of a shark attack. Like 5min, Monkey See is free and you only have to subject yourself to a single advertisement.
What would an improve yourself article be without a little philosophy? Some would say that it would be useful, maybe advantageous, but we won’t focus on those buzzkills. Surviving the World by Dante Shepherd (who dons a Sox hat, go Sox!) delivers “daily lessons in science, literature, love and life.” Take, for instance, his thoughts on fingerless gloves: “A generally pointless creation that like most generally pointless creations just helps to contribute to generally pointless attempts at creating uniqueness.” The edification is just oozing out of this site!
So take a little you time with these fast and free approaches to bettering yourself offered up by the mighty and gracious world wide web.
by brenton crozier