NETSCAPADES

by Brenton Crozier
Facebook is amazing in that it is simultaneously everything that is right and wrong about the internet. Let’s get the right part out of the way first, it’s far less interesting; You can easily and nonchalantly catch up with people from your past in what would otherwise be a really awkward phone call. Just imagine, “Hey there you, we were acquaintances in high school and I just wanted to look you up and see how things were going.” While this behavior would be alarmingly disturbing if it were to happen over the phone, it is par for the course on Facebook.
Also for the pro Facebook column, it’s an easy way to share images and information quickly with a large number of people. Avoid the always uncomfortable conversation of, “You sent your child’s pictures to everyone except for me?” Now, it’s as easy as, “I posted them on Facebook, just there for the taking.” OK, I’m boring myself with this incessant cheerleading. The bad comes in the various forms of people that abuse Facebook and this comes in so many flavors:
1. Song Lyrics: Don’t do it. Everyone already knows the lyrics to the song. I know you think it encompasses your day or the way you feel, but nobody really cares and prays for the day when you have an original thought to share.
2. Putting It All Out There: It creeps me out, as it should you, when someone lays it all out in detail to there 300 closest friends. Yes, it’s a voyeurism dream come true, but it’s more of a train wreck for most. It’s annoying because it stops traffic, and there are ways you’d rather be spending your time, but you can’t look away.
3. Cliches: Have mercy on us cliche posting Facebook users! If you got up on the wrong side of the bed, there is nothing we can do for you. If the shoe fits, you should be happy. And if there’s no time like the present, why aren’t you doing something more constructive than updating your Facebook status?
4. Trivial Schedule Updates: I can’t think of any situation where I would make the effort to let my friends and family know that I’m doing laundry. I can’t even imagine who cares what I’m watching on TV that night.
5. Experiencing Everyday Things: I feel especially irritated when someone posts something like “Traffic, ugh.” Holy moly! Traffic? What is that like? Is it fun? Is it burdensome? Please, tell us more!
The list could go on and on, the Facebook games, getting poked (somebody is laughing about saturating that term) and the endless self promoters all belong in this cornucopia of virtual annoyance. Well, there are those that chronicle Facebook folly far better than I.
www.lamebook.com
My first rule of searching for websites that celebrate Facebook missteps is that they have to actually have cut and paste images of the actual entries. I have standards. Lamebook does this in a marvelously mocking style that endlessly displays the funniest pictures and status updates. They deliver all the usual suspects in a number of succinctly named categories: TypOHs!, Personal Problems, Douchebags/Douchebaguettes. The list of ridicule goes on and on!
www.facebookfails.com
This isn’t exactly a far departure from Lamebook, but can you really get enough of this stuff? The category list is far more rich than Lamebook and delves into the derision deserving Facebook groups, quizzes and so much more.
But what does it say that I’m invested enough to want to chide these mistreatments of social media? As much as I complain about the aforementioned types of status updates, it gives me fodder for my scorn cannon and I’m loaded for days.

About FOLIO

april, 2022

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