by Ora “Tre” Brasel
Nights just cannot always go as you have planned, and this was one of those nights. Car issues, fighting the flu, and all other sorts of obstacles did their best job at hindering me from making it to this show. I might not have gotten to witness the whole event, but at least I did manage to see what I came to see, and that was GWAR who offered up enough insanity in their performance to make it worth all the difficulty I endured to get there.
If you find yourself easily troubled by things that are rude, crude, and socially unattractive, then this most certainly isn’t a show that you would want to witness. Also, if you are troubled by blood, guts, and all other sorts of other extra-terrestrial fluids being shot all over you by the gallons it is best that you take note to stand back as far as you can from the stage. For those not familiar with exactly who or what GWAR is, they are a fully costumed metal band that claims they are aliens from outer space with a large back-story that even lays claim to having created humans. One thing for certain in seeing a GWAR show, you will witness one of the craziest and most offensive shows you could ever imagine. You will either come out of the show covered with stains of various body fluids all over you or you will be utterly mortified that a band is allowed to present such a appalling act without being put in jail. I found myself to be amongst the majority of the wild-eyed freaks doused in green and red fluids from head to toe who weren’t ashamed of themselves for having indulged in their off the wall antics.
The show began with large screens showing some sort of GWAR transmission with their leader, Oderus Urungus, addressing the crowd. It was very hard to hear exactly what was being said because the devoted audience was roaring loudly just at the sight of their infamous hero. Shortly thereafter the band came on stage, and I started pushing my way down towards them so I could grab a picture or two. I knew full well that the band was known for covering the audience with tons of fluids, but stupidly I thought I could get up there before it all began. Almost instantly my face was showered with blood (food coloring and water) to the point where I couldn’t even see where it was all coming from. As the blood spewed all over the audience, people were losing their minds, and they were bashing and hitting one another as if they had been mutated into zombies without any sort of realization of pain.
The assault of antics was so much that it is still hard for me to fully recall everything that happened on stage. I remember a Michael Jackson sort of alien coming out on stage to play part in a very twisted scene with a mutated alien baby. The president was even rolled out onto the stage or at least their representation of him, and he was dismantled with their tools of destruction pouring blood on the heads of the ravenous crowd. There were also giant robots and gimps who came out to fill up their phallic squirt guns. Even a giant cannon made its way on stage that could propel fluids almost the full distance of the club . The audience rejoiced, and celebrated accordingly for the treat they were given, and surely went home happy with dreams of hedonism dancing in their heads. As we made our way out of the venue it was hilarious watching the reactions of the patrons at hip-hop night next door at RAIN. When they saw all the crazy GWAR disciples spilling out into the parking lot they didn’t know whether to laugh or run back inside, but their puzzlement and pondering faces about what exactly had gone on inside the show was the perfect note for me to leave. Forever will this experience be engrained in my mind, and forever will the name GWAR remind me of how it feels to be gloriously sticky all over.