Bert Royal and Emma Stone of EASY A

by Brenton Crozier
Imagine how productive some would be if they applied the kind of thought process and effort to work, school and other more edifying pursuits that they did to their meticulously planned trick or treating routes and strategies as children. With the efficiency of logistics majors and precision of engineers, children have molded this process into a fine-tuned science-maximizing doors visited per hour, carefully taking mental notes on what homes are a waste of time and the ones that deliver the biggest pay-off and increasing both quality and quantity with each passing year.
And for most of us, this ravenous appetite for confectionary delights doesn’t dwindle, but is maybe a tad more controlled, but more likely concealed. Ever expanding waist lines and nagging, haughty peers with propensities for healthy or organic diets have seemingly run our candy fixation off. But really, should I feel ashamed for paying a visit to the vending machine for a little post lunch sugar fix? So afraid of judging stares that I conceal my Snickers bar until I reach my office as if it is truly contraband in a prison? I say no more of this faint-hearted behavior.
Candy was our good friend as kids and was something that we went to great lengths to procure. It was a place to turn when chores and homework were bringing you down, it made for the perfect children’s currency, it was a complementing companion to movies and it even had the power to make you friends-candy was good to us and we’ve turned our backs on it.
Show candy the love it deserves. You once orchestrated campaigns of precision on Halloween night to get it and now it’s at your fingertips. There are several websites dedicated to not only the love of candy, but that offer old school and unusual sweet stuff.
Ok, so I can’t really empathize with my folks when they talk about going to the corner store and getting a full bag of candy for under fifty cents. But I do, remember an assortment of greats like Boston Baked Beans, Lemonheads and Jaw Busters that came at a pretty low price and blew my young mind. Nostalgic Candy offers all the greats. So when you have a hankering from yesteryear for a bag of Razzles or simply want to show your kids how you kicked it back in the day, you can realize your wishes. They even have candy cigarettes, can you imagine the outrage . . . candy cigarettes would now cause? A really cool feature of Nostalgic Candy is the decades boxes that they offer. Looking for that perfect gift for grandma and grandpa? Tell them to get their dentures ready when you bring them way back with a decades box full of their favorite childhood sweets.
Bacon flavored jelly beans (mmm bacon), candy hobo beans and candy grillz for yo teeth can all be found at wacky Baron Bobs! That’s right, leave behind boring, conventional candy in favor of these edgy, sugary treats. They even have an, eh-hem, adult candy section, but as a self-professed germaphobe, I have major issues mixing the two pursuits.
Everything candy, all the time. These people are so serious about their candy that they actually write reviews . . . really, really detailed reviews down to how well a particular candy bar breaks, smells, tastes and feels. Wow! But they are really well written articles and at least as humorous as Netscapades. Ok, that was a low blow. They have a wide variety of articles that range from the Top 10 Grossest Candy (spoiler alert: Lick Your Wounds candy band-aids are numero uno) and the Top Ten Worst Halloween Treats (homeowners please see to avoid yoke on the siding) to an interesting discussion of deep-fried Snickers and a Candy Wrapper Quiz to test your sweets savvy.
Have a happy Halloween and remember to kick a little candy to the side for yourself.