by brenton crozier
Is the idea of reading a book laughable to you? You may even find the concept of handwriting a letter not only preposterous, but downright offensive. You my friend, simply don’t have the time. Even conducting an actual conversation is purely passe.
My quandary is you even making it this far into the article. I can only hope that you’ve made an exception and have continued reading out of curiosity or even boredom. Anyhow, even formerly simple cell phone conversations that you used to make to fill your drive time have grown too cumbersome. The almighty text is now the prevailing method of communication resulting in auto accidents and an endless stream of annoyance to folks who prefer to do things the old fashioned way . . . cell phone or email. Additionally, social networking websites like Twitter and Facebook have further split social circles to communicating in voyeuristic and trifling fragments.
So in this spirit of brevity and not investing any significant amount of time so that you can report to your friends and followers that you are “Doing laundry – ugh” or “Getting ready to watch Lost” or reporting on one of the many personality tests that tell you what rock star, celebrity or philosopher you are most like, I give you these gems that celebrate the succinct.
One Sentence is a user-generated, but owner-regulated forum where you can share either your life story, the big to-do from last night or simply that thought burning a hole through your cerebrum-but all in one sentence. I’ll go ahead and warn you, there is a Post Secret feel to this site that makes you say, “Lighten up” or “Please seek professional help.” But there are also a number of gems among the one-sentence soap operas. Some of my favorites include:
“My mother has 1,500 followers on Twitter and I have 7.”
“It took the internet to find out about my uncle’s successful career in porn.”
One Word is an exercise in association and writing. The concept is simple. You are given one word and one minute to write about the word. Your results are then posted alongside all the other’s for the day. Today’s word is “clinic” and I wrote this:
“I’m going to put on a clinic for those in search of brevity. That’s right it’s school time and the bell is ringing. So sit back, read and learn. Clinic also makes me think of the cool band Clinic that wears surgical gear on stage.”
This site asks, “Remember that text you shouldn’t have sent last night?” Well unfortunately for you, they have it, and their posting it for everyone’s entertainment. These texts are unfiltered and often the result of alcohol excess, so you can imagine what the subject often gravitates towards. My particular favorites are in the Best Nights section and include:
“(703): I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically.”
“(612): You guys were way drunker than both of me.”
All of these sites have an oddly addictive quality. I guess that makes me just as voyeuristic as people discussing their television schedules and household chores. While it’s sad to see the art of meaningful exchange go, there is something liberating to getting to forgo all the mundane, sometimes annoying and other times frivolous details. I can’t imagine what the next cliff note transition from this will be, but I’m sure it will b awsum.
by brenton crozier