notes from the bachelor pad

by TROY SPURLIN
“The sky is falling!, The sky is falling!,” warned Henny Penny. Dudes, I think that damn chicken may be right! Face it, our economy is in the gutter and my bank account ain’t fairing much better. Add to that, I am turning forty in five months, trying to keep my head above water during my first year in business, and my car’s engine just died to the tune of five thousand dollars. I am not a happy guy. So with that said and my article due, here I sit at the Mac wondering how in the hell I can advise anyone to spend money on their pad. Well, the bottom line is: don’t! Do not hit the thrift store(s), do not hit Homegoods, and by all means do not make ANY major purchase(s). Put down the credit card, man! In fact, put it out of reach – forget you have it. Hang on to your cash until we know what the hell is going on with our treasury. Seriously! Gentlemen, what we need to do right now is focus on NO COST design. Thank you, Mr. Bush… Asshole.
But first, we need libation. A “how-you-gonna-pay-this-month’s-rent-I-feel-like-a-loser” libation. Well my brothers, there is but one answer; Jack on the Rocks with a little vi-kee garnish. There now, isn’t that better?! With drink in hand, lets do a walk-through of the pad. When you walk into the living room what is the focal point (Dude, a focal point is the first wall you see upon entering a room, or the wall facing the room’s dominant flow of traffic)?
Generally, the focal point in most people’s homes is either the wall that the television or the fireplace is on. Although with flat screen televisions now being mounted above the fireplace the two are no longer in competition with each other. If, however, you have both, but do not have it mounted above the fireplace we need to make a decision. I would lean in favor of the television wall being the focal point as most people tend to gather round the television for movies and shows. We will thus build the room. Imagine a square. We all know it has four sides. Well, we are placing this imaginary square in our living room and on one of the lines we are placing the television.
Directly across from that line we are going to place the sofa/couch (it is our longest piece of furniture and will balance out the focal point) – we can call that line two. We now have the fireplace either to our left or right if we are sitting on the couch. In essence, the fireplace is now on line three. That leaves us one line to complete our square. On line four, place two matching chairs if you have it or a love seat. If you have neither, perhaps you have two stools, two large pillows, or the Pierson twins. I don’t really care, just get two items that look the same to complete the picture. If you choose to make the fireplace the focal point, then the television would be on the left or right if we are sitting on the couch. Make sense? If not, consult Jack and start again with sentence five, paragraph two. With this furniture placement begin to insert smaller pieces of furniture, accessories and lighting. Maybe a small table between the pair of chairs? The coffee table in front of the couch is a no-brainer so maybe take a risk; if it’s a rectangle, run it “long” ways toward the television. But be careful what you put back into the room. Be spare.
Try to keep it minimal and clean. I can hear you now, “Great, Design Dude, but now I have a pile of furniture and accessories that were in the room. What do I do with them?!” Read on my brother, read on.
In an effort to do our part for the “green” movement we are going to place these items into consignment. What’s “green” about that you ask? Think “renewable” man and what color is money? Riiiiight…
So before you get all nutted up thinking this consignment thing is going to be a hassle, it is as simple as three steps:
1. Take a picture of the item, then email it. Or print it out and take it to Encore Decor.
2. Drop the item off or have their truck pick it up.
3. When it sells they send you a check.

Encore Decor
www.encoredecorfl.com
10830 San Jose Boulevard
880-8448
Store Hours: Monday – Saturday 10 – 7 / Sunday 12 – 5
Now, if you want to just list the item on craigslist.org, that’s fine. Just keep in mind that you often get a much better price for your item through consigning and you don’t have strangers walking through your place. Regardless, in these tough economic times, scaling down and bringing cash in is the smartest thing we can do. Oh and dude, remember that account called, “Savings?” Put the check from Encore Decor in it and leave it there! Just think, your engine could be next!