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THE CONTINUING CRISIS Wednesday, April 2
In February, officials in Sudan seized at least 70 female sheep that had male sexual organs sewn on — the result of livestock smugglers trying to circumvent export restrictions. Ewes are valued more highly, and their sale is limited. Authorities …
NOT A JIFFY LUBE Wednesday, April 2
Michael Schell, 24, and Jessica Briggs, 31, were arrested on several charges in Minot, N.D., in February when police were called to a convenience store because Schell and Briggs had commandeered a restroom and were having noisy sex. The store is …
DEMOCRACY BLUES Wednesday, April 2
U.S. Rep. Robert Andrews announced his retirement in February, after 23 years of representing his New Jersey district, and in "tribute," The Washington Post suggested he might be the least successful lawmaker of the past two decades, in that he'd …
BEST MAN FOR THE JOB Wednesday, April 2
November election returns for the city council of Flint, Mich., revealed that voters chose two convicted felons (Wantwaz Davis and Eric Mays) and two other candidates who'd been through federal bankruptcy. Davis never publicized his 1991 …
SMOOTH CRIMINAL Wednesday, April 2
The Internal Revenue Service reportedly hit the estate of Michael Jackson recently with a federal income tax bill of $702 million because of undervaluing properties that it owned — including a valuation on the Jackson-owned catalog of Beatles …
INEXPLICABLE Wednesday, April 2
The North Somerset office of Britain's National Health Service issued a formal apology in January to Leanda Preston, 31, who had accused it of "racism" because of the pass phrase she received to access the system for an appointment to manage her …
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT Wednesday, April 2
A Florida appeals court tossed out an $80,000 anti-discrimination settlement in February because the beneficiary's teenage daughter couldn't keep from bragging about it — even though the terms of the settlement required confidentiality. Miami's …
PERSPECTIVE Wednesday, April 2
A controversial landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision in 2005 for the first time allowed a city to force unwilling owners to sell private property, not for a school, police station or other traditional municipal necessity, but just because a …
NEWS OF THE SELF INDULGENT Wednesday, April 2
Plastic surgeons have performed beard implants, but only for men with facial scarring or for female-to-male transgenders. Recently, New York city surgeons report an uptick in business by men solely to achieve the proper aesthetic look. According to …
CREME DE LA WEIRD Wednesday, April 2
Cable's TLC channel (formerly, The Learning Channel) recently completed its fifth season of My Strange Addiction, mostly starring a host of compulsives who apparently cannot refrain from eating that which should not be eaten (mattress stuffing, …
 
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