The holiday season is here, and no doubt everyone reading this column has already begun planning gift ideas for the people (and animals) in their lives, not to mention fantasy-booking the swag that may come their way in return. Many of them, and many of you, are probably cannabisseurs, or why else would you still be reading this? The market is booming as we wrap up the second year of medical marijuana in Florida, which means you not only have a lot of options, but a lot of time to shop.
We’ll be doing a couple of these this month, but I wanted to solicit the first batch of suggestions from the lady who knows this subject better than anyone–even me. Ellie K has been running her own YouTube page for almost a year now and, as I noted here on Aug. 29, she’s quickly built a reputation as one of the authoritative voices on cannabis matters in the area. I knew she had plenty of great ideas, and so this week I shall defer to her wisdom. Her list begins with the Yocan UNI, which extends the battery life of “just about any vape cartridge,” which is important for late-night parties, or just watching the president say words on TV. This is a handy gift for experienced patients, who probably have a whole arsenal of implements at their disposal already.
Now, partaking of the plant in its flower form remains illegal, and will stay that way for at least two years (unless DeSantis finds religion, and that religion is Rastafari), so alternative methods abound. Ellie recommends the White Rhino HYLO hand-held dry herb vaporizer. “Perfect for the cannabis lover who enjoys the smooth taste and the effects of herb when vaporized, and wants to take their herb vaporizer everywhere. Enjoy your favorite bud strains at a variety of temperatures with this product.” She then pivots to the Volcano Vaporizer, basically the Keurig of Christmas Tree, “a tabletop vaping device that delivers lots of vapor from your cannabis flower. Some local medical marijuana dispensaries also sell their own take on the tabletop vaporizer, as well as compatible ‘dry herb’ cannabis cups for use by medical marijuana patients and specifically for their tabletop devices.“
Sorting through all those options may be asking too much for the average FW reader. I can only assume said reader will be spending most of their time and money for some really fancy ham. In that case, Ellie suggests Cannabox, a company which curates a cannabis collection for the refined stoner. They bring you the new style monthly, straight to your door–or a friend’s door, if you’re shy. This is good for noobs, boobs, rubes, serious stoners or even your elderly friends who think Reefer Madness is a documentary. If you’re shopping for a total beginner, however, here’s an easy one: Pay for their medical marijuana card. It’s easy, if not exactly quick, but the process is way simpler than most people realize. Surprise them with the paperwork, and watch their face as they try to guess what it is–always a fun activity at this time of year. More gift ideas next week, and they will be silly.
Got questions about medical marijuana? Let us answer them. Send inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org.