ARIES (March 21-April 19): An Aries reader sent a boisterous email. “I was afraid I was getting bogged down by my duties,” he said, “too hypnotized by routine, too serious about problems. I took drastic action.” He wrote how he broke out of his slump: “I gave laughing lessons to a cat. I ate a spider. I staged a sneezing contest. I smashed an alarm clock with a hammer. When an elderly woman walked by, I called out ‘Hail to the Queen!’ and did a backflip. I named my spoon Hortense, the table Beatrice, a buzzing fly Fallon, and a toothpick Arturo.” According to astrological omen-analysis, you’d be wise to stage a similar uprising.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Welcome home, homegirls and homeboys. After observing your homesteading in homes away from home, I’m pleased to see you’re curious about real home brew again. How many times can I write “home” before you get the message that it’s time to home in on homemade, homegrown homework? A note to those who may be feeling psychologically homeless or exiled from your spiritual home: the weeks ahead are a good time to address that ache and remedy that problem.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The world is full of restless people who seethe with confused desires they don’t understand. Fueled by unfathomable urges, they’re driven in unknown directions to accomplish fuzzy goals. They may be obsessed in ways that make them seem highly focused, but their objects of obsession are impossible to attain. They don’t exist! The months ahead offer all the help and support you’d ever need to make sure you’re forever free of any tendency to be like that.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): What would you say if I asked you to tell me who you truly are? I’d be curious about your sacred mysteries, not your literal history. I’d want to know treasured secrets you think of before you fall asleep. I’d ask you to sing songs you love and describe allies who make you feel real. What else? What other ways might you show me core truths about your irrepressible soul? Now’s a good time to think about that.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Isaac Asimov wrote a science fiction story about a physicist who masters time travel and summons William Shakespeare into the present time. The Bard enrolls in a night school class about his own plays–and flunks the course. Modern ideas and modes of discourse disorient him. He’s unable to grasp theories that critics have developed about his work for centuries. With this cautionary tale, time-travel 10 years into the future. From that vantage point, look back at the life you’re living now. How would you evaluate and understand it? Do you have any constructive criticism or insights to help plan a better future?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The weeks ahead will be a good time to buy yourself toys, change your image for no reason and indulge in a pleasure you’ve been denying yourself. Engage in at least two heart-to-hearts with yourself, preferably using funny voices and comical body language. Align yourself gracefully with cosmic rhythms by dancing more, goofing off more and seeking to recapture lost innocence.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Though you’ll never find an advertisement for Toyota, Coca Cola or Apple here, you’ll find hype for spiritual commodities like creativity, love and freedom. Like everyone, I’m a huckster. My flackery may be more ethical and uplifting, but I still try to persuade you to “buy” my ideas. Moral of the story: Everyone, even the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, is selling something. It’s high time to hone your sales pitch, explain why your approach to life is wise, and be a forceful spokesperson and role model for values you hold dear.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’re growing almost too fast, but it won’t be a problem as long as you don’t expect those around you to grow as fast. You also know almost too much–but that won’t spawn envy and resistance as long as you cultivate humility. You’re on the verge of being too attractive for your own good–though you’ve not yet actually reached the tipping point, so maybe your hyper-attractiveness will serve you rather than undermine you. Celebrate your abundance, but don’t flaunt it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The snow leopards of Central Asia need a lot of room to wander. Zoologists say each male prefers its territory to be about 84 square miles, and each female likes to have 44 square miles. I don’t think you’ll require quite that vast a turf in the weeks ahead, but on the other hand, it’ll be important to not underestimate the spaciousness you need to thrive. Be expansive.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I want to do things so wild with you that I don’t know how to say them,” wrote Anaïs Nin in a letter to her Capricorn lover Henry Miller. Is there anyone to whom you could or should say something like that? If yes, now’s a good time to be candid and bold. If no, now would be a good time to seek a person to whom you could or should say that.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Did you hear the story about a California mom who started a series of forest fires to boost her son’s career as a firefighter? She’s an apt role model for behavior to diligently avoid in the next few weeks. It’s unwise and unprofitable to stir up of trouble simply because it’s trouble you’ve become skilled at solving. How should you use your problem-solving energy, which I suspect will be at a peak? Go hunting for some interesting and potentially productive trouble you haven’t wrangled with–some rousing challenge to make you even smarter.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The heroine of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass is curious, adventurous and brave. She follows a well-dressed rabbit down a rabbit hole into an alternate universe. She slips through a mirror into another parallel reality. Both times, with great composure, she navigates many odd, paranormal and unpredictable events. She enjoys herself immensely as she deals with unusual characters and unfamiliar situations. I speculate Alice is a Pisces. Ready for your own Alice-in-Wonderland phase? Here it comes!