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10 Ways to Comfort a LIBERAL

So, it happened. After all the campaigning, blogging, hashtags, voting, letter-writing, whining and complaining from every corner of the earth and internet, Donald J. Trump – Drumpf if you’re nasty – has officially been voted the next President of the United States by the Electoral College.

Those of you who love some #MAGA are probably feeling pretty elated right now – but some of you may be wondering about the liberals in your life. Everyone has at least one latte-sipping SJW in their friends list or family circle, and odds are they’re feeling pretty blue about yesterday’s vote. Sure, it’s easy to mock and easier to gloat, and I bet you’re pretty fucking tired of all that “Trump voters are racist” and “Donald supporters are fascists” and so on that you’ve endured these last few months.

But I’m here to tell you that even if they don’t really want to hear about how thrilled you are that are next president is cozying up to Vlad-the-imprisoner-of-dissenters (Alexei Navalny, Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the band Pussy Riot) ‘cause you’re afraid of Russia’s nuclear arsenal and convinced that the U.S. posturing itself in opposition to Putin-the-ix-nay-on-human-rights is a no good, very bad idea, well, you can still be the bigger person and reach across the buffet or dinner table with a few words of comfort and solace in this time of grave distress and discomfort for the “libtards” in your life. (Don’t pretend you don’t call us that – we know you do.)

No matter how much you sneer at them for championing minority rights but not those of working class whites, libtards are still your brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and friends, even if they are pierced, tattooed, ironically bearded and dressed like lumberjacks when you know full well those manicured hands have never held an axe, much less swung one.

So, in the interests of …   More

The Flog

The Warehouse Goes OUT WITH A BANG, in The 5 & Dime’s Stage Reading of ‘Let’s Kill Greg’

Let’s Kill Greg pursues truth in absurdity — taking aim at politics, celebrity, business, entertainment, love, violence, and betrayal.

It’s a recipe for laughs and existential examination concocted for The 5 & Dime’s final, Earth-shattering performance at The Warehouse.

Company managing director Lee Hamby introduced the stage reading of Let’s Kill Greg: A Murder in Two Acts on Saturday night, saying it would be 5 & Dime’s final production at 700 Union St. — “Dirty Dancing staircase” and all. The company enters its sixth season in 2017 with a new permanent location on East Adams Street in Downtown Jacksonville. More details are yet to come, Hamby says.

It's no surprise that writer-director Franklin Ritch began this process with the goal of seeing his work performed as a full local theater production. But after these performances, Ritch now says the stage reading seems like the perfect means to pursue Greg’s end.

To be sure, this 5 & Dime production wasn’t a basic stage reading at all, as the play featured costumes, projection, lighting and quite a few props.

Here, five conspirators with wide-ranging — if somewhat head-scratching — motivations come together with a plot to kill Greg Rainsburg (Jason Collins).

For the ringleader, Felix (Drew L. Brown), this is a plot to assassinate — not murder — as he often reminds us, and maintaining the moral high ground appears critical to his state of emotional well-being. But his true motivations prove a bit more personal.

Valerie (Milan Alley) sees Greg as a political mastermind with a dangerous amount of influence on the president-elect (yes, that one), and she has her own political aspirations. Ritch noted after the reading that he wrote the play with adjustments for either 2016 electoral result in mind.

Meanwhile, Demi …   More

Viral Letter Urges Electors Not to Vote for Trump

In an attempt to stop the Electoral College from electing Donald Trump on December 19, an English professor in New York has amassed the addresses of 280 electors in states that Trump won and drafted form letters people can download that urges electors to vote for Hillary Clinton.

Jeff Strabone tells Folio Weekly that he spent two weeks collecting addresses before making the letters available on his site,, on December 5. Strabone said that he emailed an announcement to approximately 10,000 people and cold contacted celebrities, including the actress Deborah Messing, who has been a vocal Trump critic, via Twitter.

Overnight, his humble site became the subject of national attention. Thousands of retweets and countless emails followed.

“It’s turned into a vast movement…. My rough estimate is that over 10,000 people have sent some letters,” Strabone says.

Strabone said that if those people sent just 25 letters each, 250,000 pieces of mail have been generated. He isn't the only one who has endeavored to convince the Electoral College to vote against Trump: a petition urging the electors to vote for Hillary Clinton currently has 4.8 million signatures.

The letters, which are downloadable in Word documents – on his site Strabone writes that this is to enable people to write their own personal messages if they desire – begin thusly:

I am writing to you in your capacity as a presidential elector. I do not envy the responsibility that you bear during these difficult times when we face a new split between the popular and apparent electoral votes. While I myself believe that Hillary Clinton’s popular margin of victory, over 2.5 million votes nationwide, ought to convince the electors to vote for her, I am writing to ask you to choose her for a different reason: that the electoral college was designed specifically to bar men like Donald Trump from the presidency.

The letters go …   More


Angela Corey Appointed to Law Enforcement Post

BREAKING: Outgoing State Attorney Angela Corey has been appointed general counsel to the Clay County Sheriff's Office by Sheriff-elect Darryl Daniels.

The announcement that Corey, who has long been well-liked in Clay County, particularly within the CCSO, even as she was the contentious center of scandal after scandal elsewhere, was sent to media outlets via press release this afternoon. The release states in part, "Corey will train the staff on a variety of issues such as constitutional law as well as proper execution of legal search warrants, arrest warrants and probable cause."

In the release, Daniels is quoted as saying, "Ms. Corey is the subject matter expert when it comes to the application of the law and conveying that to law enforcement. I do not want innocent people treated like criminals and have their freedoms removed by someone misapplying the law. I have hired the most tenured person with the expertise to provide knowledge and training to the Clay County Sheriff’s Office."

The appointed position is to begin when incoming State Attorney Melissa Nelson, who bested Corey in the Aug. 30 primary, assumes office next month and will conclude at the end of April according to the release.

Folio Weekly has reached out to Daniels and will update this post with his response.


The Flog

2016: a JOKE of a Year

This year has left us all in need of a little medical attention, preferably of the mood-altering kind. In the interests of your health and avoiding awkward conversations with Aunt Charlene about that missing bottle of diazepam, here's a healthy dose of the best medicine of all, guaranteed* to cure your residual 2016 blues.







*not guaranteed   More


The Art of Presence and PROGRESS

Artist Morrison Pierce first introduced me to Art Basel in 2007.

A group of eight Jacksonville creatives (including writers, painters, and experimental musicians) all piled into two vehicles and arrived in Miami Beach just in time for an Iggy and the Stooges performance held at the oceanside.

The next morning we all walked to the Miami Beach Convention Center to take in the international art fair known as Art Basel Miami Beach. Originally founded in Basel, Switzerland in 1970, the South Florida version of the art fair kicked off in 2002. Today, it attracts nearly 80,000 artists, private collectors, directors, curators, trustees and patrons of nearly 200 museum and institution groups each year.

During that initial visit, I immediately realized that I would not be able to afford to see the show and that a few of the guys I had ridden down with had press passes. Local writer and Folio Weekly contributor Shelton Hull was kind enough to draft a letter of assignment from Section 8 magazine, to help get me and psychedelic music cohort Seth Ossachite Stephens press access.

With press passes in hand we were suddenly admitted to Basel and all it's surrounding fairs such as SCOPE, Red Dot, and Art Miami. Ten years have flown by and I find myself in Miami Beach every early December to compulsively feed my head with what the international art community has to offer. And in that time, I have covered the fair for nearly as many years for Folio Weekly.

From elegant and extravagant down to inane and undignified, every possible medium of art is represented at Art Basel Miami Beach and its neighboring art fairs. If you can't find the white whale in one of the fairs, perhaps you'll hunt him down in the Wynwood Art District, where graffiti art reigns supreme.

Miami traffic and the logistics involved can be daunting. One year I slept on the beach, and in 2010 Pierce and I were stranded in Miami Beach and slept on the roof of the very hotel we had to leave.

This …   More


It’s been about three weeks since the United States elected businessman-turned-demagogue Donald J. Trump as our leader. There have been protests, Facebook rants and one article after another asking, “How could this have happened?”

But at the University of North Florida, students have remained largely unaffected. Campus remained clear of campaign signs, except for Election Day when Trump/Pence signs were lined up along the Kernan Blvd. entrance and the day President Obama paid us a visit. After Obama's speech, signs reading “I’m with Her” and “Do the Most Good” littered dorm hallways and students' bedroom windows.

“The mood on campus after the election was not noticeably different,” said civil engineering student Brandon Diaz. “I really don’t believe anything will change for us, at least not for a while.”

On Wednesday, Nov. 9, many Trump supporters “came out of the closet.” Students could finally sport Trump t-shirts, slap a “Trump/Pence 2016” sticker on their Yeti Tumblers and wear those lovely red hats.

“I am willing to give him a chance partially because he’s backtracking on many of the policies he was hardcore about during the campaign,” said history major John McCrone. “His new policy ideas like a ban on lobbying in Washington sound good, but I’m concerned about all of the cabinet and staff picks." 

Students seem displeased about the white nationalist and anti-gay personnel Trump has surrounded himself with, but largely remain either indifferent or optimistic. “I see people just going about their normal lives,” said student Russell Fidler. “People in the [on-campus] game room are still the same, and I am personally indifferent to the outcome of the election.”

On Nov. 14, UNF president and former Jacksonville mayor John Delaney sent an email to students, staff and faculty urging …   More


The SPIRIT of the Season

Tis the season for giving! Ordinarily we like to poke fun of, well, everything, but in the spirit of the season, we're taking a break from all that sarcasm to bring you this handy-dandy list of events, charities and more so you can get into the spirit by doing good deeds - that or just work your way off that "naughty" list.


FIRST COAST AIDS WALK. The eighth annual walk is held at 10 a.m. (registration at 9 a.m.) on Nov. 19 at Riverside Avenue Christian Church, 2841 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 389-1751, Proceeds benefit local organizations and primarily support the Hitzing Fund, designed to provide photo identification and documentation necessary for healthcare services for low-income HIV clients.

TOYS FOR TOTS/19TH STREET CHARITIES POKER RUN. The Sons of the Beaches hold this third annual run 8 a.m. Nov. 19, starting at FRA Branch 290, Mayport Road. A raffle, silent auction, barbecue and live music by Highway Jones are featured. $20 per bike, $10 per passenger. Details, 866-1165, 237-5277,

FEED THE CITY. The 22nd annual event is held 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Nov. 20 at Clara White Mission, 613 W. Ashley St., Downtown; for details, call 354-4162 or go to

CHRISTMAS ON THE RIVER. The COA’s annual fundraiser is held 5-8 p.m. Nov. 20 at River House, 179 Marine St., St. Augustine. The Festival of Wreaths, featuring one-of-a-kind wreaths hand-crafted and donated to the COA by local garden clubs, florists, 4-H’ers and Master Gardeners and a silent auction and a wine tasting are featured. Proceeds benefit COA’s programs. 209-3687,

JOHNSON FAMILY PRAYER BREAKFAST. The annual breakfast is held at 9 a.m. Nov. 17 at Johnson Family YMCA, 5700 Cleveland Rd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15 per person. For more info, call 765-3589 or go to

BLESSINGS IN A BACKPACK. ServPro holds its second annual Fancy Pants Golf Tournament 11:30 a.m. Nov. 18 at …   More


Turning the PAGE

My fingers have never been heavier typing a sentence than this one: Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States.

I did not believe that in the 21st century it was remotely possible that my America would elect a person as president who has been a lightning rod of bigotry, racism, nationalism and xenophobia, who has threatened journalists for doing their jobs, mocked the disabled and treated women as his own personal fuck dolls for his entire adult life. But here we are.

Those of us in the media owe the nation a sincere apology. For we must have let you down in some deeply abiding way, elsewise just under half of the electorate would not have ignored our dire warnings about the results of voting for an inexperienced man who routinely takes intolerance to new and frightening levels. Perhaps we were too smug, too confident in your trust that we, who are tasked with pointing our lenses and pens at that which is wrong and ugly in the world, do in fact know what we are talking about. Perhaps we do not yet grasp the full implications of the Internet age, for we thought that certainly people would not believe the farces and lies published by fake news and propaganda sites, some of which receive their nuggets of deceit directly from foreign nations that have no greater desire than to take America down and destroy our power. For we seem to have underestimated the desire of 50 million Americans to be told things that jibe with their opinions, regardless of whether those things are true.

Today, my morning got off to a different start than most other mornings. Having stayed up until it was certain that Hillary Clinton could not win, I grieved until sleep carried me away and woke five hours later crushed with dread for the years to come. To comfort myself and secure some semblance of normalcy, I sought solace in the woods, running through the rain to pound out the worst of my horror before facing the world.

At work, I gathered the rest of the …   More


These Stickers Are Our ELECTION 2016 Everything

Who's ready for it all to be over with? After 15-16 months that felt like decades, Election 2016 is hours from the grand finale, barring hanging-chad shenanigans that require the Supreme Court to intervene. (We can do this, Florida, keep it together!)

For many of us, this year's field of presidential candidates has left, shall we say, a little sumpin' sumpin' to be desired - sumpin' like a hari-kiri or a lobotomy or a big, refreshing glass of cyanide punch.

Recognizing what Folio Weekly's therapist called "election fatigue" before she forked over the goods, Kristen Bankert and Jen Domaradzki, two loquacious assistant creative directors at the local office of St. John & Partners, an advertising and public relations firm, decided what this horrible, agonizing, painful, intense, cage match-style election needs most is laughter.

Bankert tells FW that the impetus of the idea came when they noticed people posting pictures of their "I voted" stickers that were "tainted with an undercurrent" of feeling that was different from past elections, when such stickers have historically been worn with pride.

"That was kind of the spark of the idea . . . [that] we should create 'I voted' stickers that capture the truth of how people really feel when they're walking out of the voting booth this year," Bankert says.

So, with full support from their company and less than two weeks to go before the big day, they created "2016 Brutally Honest Voting Stickers" that play off the "I voted" stickers distributed to voters at the polls.

"I voted and I could use a hug," "I voted and now it burns when I pee," "I voted and I just threw up in my mouth," and "I voted and I think some got on me," are just a few.

The stickers took off like wildfire.

"We posted it on our pages and it started getting shared and shared and shared," Bankert says.

As of this afternoon, Bankert says the post has been viewed two million times, with 10 million engagements (i.e. …   More