Y’all know that we like a good joke more than any other news outlet. But Hurricane Matthew ain’t no laughing matter. If you’re in a mandatory evacuation zone, get your essentials and head the hell out before it’s too late.
And by essentials we’re not talking about mood-altering substances. (But we’re betting many of you already stocked up on liquor, cigs and that the region’s drug dealers have been busy.)
Actual essentials include important papers, identification, pets, food & water for pets, vital medicine, non-perishable food, drinking water (one gallon/day/person), flashlights, batteries, rain gear, a first aid kit, hand crank radio, multi-purpose tool, cash, a full tank of gas (though this late in the game you probably won’t find much gas or stations that are open), cell phone, chargers, maps, and phone numbers for friends and family.
According to the TU, as of this afternoon, officials estimate only 30 percent of the beaches’ residents have evacuated. This is not the time to play like you're hard, people. You could be killed. This storm has already taken over 100 lives. Grab your shit and go while you can. Plus, they’re shutting off water and sewer service east of the intercoastal beginning at 8 p.m. and alcohol sales at 6 p.m. So if you’re sitting at the bar with your thumb up your ass, pay your tab and find a shelter.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For a comprehensive list of important phone numbers and links for the region, including emergency shelters, first responders, etc., click here.
Stay safe, y'all. #KeepCalmAndEvacuateOn
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Send Hurricane Matthew photos and stories to email@example.com, tag us on social media at Twitter/FolioWeekly, Facebook.com/theFolioWeekly, and Instagram.com/FolioWeekly.com.