FWM's weekly salute to the 2016 Presidential Primaries
Before we talk about New Hampshire, a quick recap of how we got here:
Even for the most politically astute, the aftermath of the Iowa Caucus was difficult to sort out.
Ted Cruz won.
But Donald Trump said Cruz cheated.
Also, Trump wasn’t really trying, so technically he won.
Yet the media said Marco Rubio, who came in third, was the real winner.
As for the Democrats: Hillary Clinton won, but Bernie Sanders' supporters – citing media bias – said it was actually a victory for Bernie.
So then New Hampshire happened. Here’s what the national media is saying about who lived free and who died hard:
Ru… Ru… Rubio!
First of all… Rubio Robots. Can we talk about this?
(A digression: As evidenced by James Cameron’s 1984 documentary about robots, self-aware androids are capable of mistakes, such as afflicting a muscle-bound cybernetic organism with a thick Austrian accent. So is it crazy to wonder if the Rubio Robots are actual robots trying to fix their newest mistake, offering a Presidential candidate who, in his last debate performance, appeared more exposed than a naked automaton walking into a biker bar? I’m not convinced.)
Anyway, according to many, Rubio, one of the aforementioned winners in Iowa, was a huge loser in the Granite State. Aided by what Esquire politics writer (and frequent guest on NPR’s Wait…Wait…Don’t tell me!) Charlie Pierce called Chris Christie’s efforts to “wrap his arms around Young Marco Rubio and hurl himself off a cliff,” Rubio underperformed and John Kasich was the media’s big winner in New Hampshire. Who the F*#K is John Kasich?
Trump Back on the Stump:
The actual winner, on the Republican side, wasn’t that “Pussy” Ted Cruz. It was of course, the man born of modest means, The Donald. Trump will not be … More