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CAPRICORN: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Are you ready to be as affable as a Sagittarius, charismatic as a Leo, empathetic as a Cancerian, and vigorous an instigator as an Aries? No? You’re afraid it would require you to push yourself too far outside your comfort zone? Willing to be half as affable as a Sagittarius, half as charismatic as a Leo, half as empathetic as a Cancerian, half as inspiring an instigator as an Aries? Or even a quarter as much? At least stretch in these directions – that would let you take maximum advantage of spectacular social opportunities in the next four weeks.
SAGITTARIUS: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
You are entering a phase when you will have more luck than usual as you try to banish parasitic influences, unworthy burdens and lost causes. Projects to work on: 1. Bid farewell to those who bring out the worst in you. 2. Heal the twisted effect an adversary has had on you.
SCORPIO: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
“Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble,” declares Scorpio author Fran Lebowitz, “as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.” I don’t wholeheartedly endorse that advice for you in the days ahead.
LIBRA: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
The average serving of pasta on a typical American’s plate is almost 480 percent bigger than what’s recommended as a healthy portion, says the research paper “The Contribution of Expanding Portion Sizes to the U.S. Obesity Epidemic,” by Lisa R. Young and Marion Nestle.
VIRGO: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
In the English-speaking world, a sundae is a luxurious dessert of ice cream topped with sweet treats like syrup, sprinkles and fruits. In Korea, a sundae is something very different. It’s a cow’s or pig’s intestines crammed with noodles, barley and pig’s blood. Next week, you’ll be faced with a decision that has metaphorical similarities to the choice between the two sundaes. Be sure you’re quite clear about the true nature of each.
LEO: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
What are the new whisperings in your head? Messages from an inner teacher? Beacons beamed back through time from Future You? Clues from your unconscious mind’s wise parts? Whatever they are, pay attention. These signals from the Great Beyond may not be clear yet, but if you’re patient, they eventually tell you how to take advantage of a big plot twist. A caveat: Don’t automatically believe every single thing the whisperings say. Their counsel may not be 100 percent accurate. Be receptive and discerning.
CANCER: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Astronauts on the International Space Station never wash their underwear. They don’t have enough water to waste on that luxury. Instead, they fling the dirty laundry out into space. As it falls to Earth, it burns up in the atmosphere. I wish you had a bunch of amenities like that. If there was ever a time to be free from having to wash your underwear, make your bed, sweep the floor and do the dishes, it’s now.
GEMINI: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
You have two options. Be in denial about your real feelings, ignore what needs to be fixed and wait for trouble to find you. Or vow to be resilient, summon your feistiest curiosity and search for trouble. The difference between these two is dramatic. If you mope, sigh and hide, the messy trouble that arrives will be indigestible. But if you’re brave and proactive, the interesting trouble ultimately evolves into a blessing.
TAURUS: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Businessman Warren Buffet is worth $65.5 billion, but regularly gives away 27 percent of his fortune to charity. Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates owns $78 billion, and donates 36 percent. Then there’s the Walton family, owners of Walmart, where 100 million Americans shop weekly.
ZOMBIES ARE THE LIVING END! Wednesday, October 22
The Undead are always in season
 
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