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LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Wednesday, October 22
William Dixon, 21, was arrested in Brentwood, Tennessee, in August fleeing a Best Buy store after arousing suspicion. According to the police report, Dixon, on foot, ran across all lanes of I-65, but the chase ended when he collided with a tree.
RULE NO. 9 Wednesday, September 24
The 15-year-old granddaughter of Cliven Bundy (the Nevada rancher whose dispute with the federal government caused a notorious standoff in March) told Las Vegas’ KSNV-TV that her dad (Bundy’s son) was withdrawing her from her high school because officials would not allow her to carry a knife on campus. She said her dad has taught his kids (just like Leroy Jethro Gibbs on NCIS) to “always” carry a knife.
WEED SWAP Wednesday, October 22
Walter Morrison, 20, a United Parcel Service baggage agent at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor airport, apparently intended only to swipe random parcels, but inadvertently came upon, in one package, a diamond (later found to be worth about $160,000). Police charging him in September said he traded the diamond to a friend for a gram of marijuana (around $20, retail).
SHOCKING Wednesday, September 24
Annual Bunyola “fiestas” on the Spanish island of Mallorca were canceled in September out of respect for an 18-year-old man who fatally hit his head after receiving an electric shock on a lamp post he was leaning against as he urinated at a street corner.
NOTW CLASSIC (November 2010) Wednesday, October 22
Sixty-two percent of the 12 million people of Mumbai, India, live in slums, but the city is also home to Mukesh Ambani’s 27-story private residence (60,000 square feet, 600 employees serving a family of five), reported to cost about $1 billion. According to an October (2010) New York Times item, there are “four-story hanging gardens,” “airborne swimming pools” and a room where “artificial weather” can be created.
ARIES: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
The driest place on Earth is the Atacama Desert in northern Chile. It gets about a half-inch of rain a year. Yet in 2011, archaeologists discovered it’s home to a site containing fossilized skeletons of several whales and other ancient sea creatures.
TAURUS: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Businessman Warren Buffet is worth $65.5 billion, but regularly gives away 27 percent of his fortune to charity. Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates owns $78 billion, and donates 36 percent. Then there’s the Walton family, owners of Walmart, where 100 million Americans shop weekly.
GEMINI: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
You have two options. Be in denial about your real feelings, ignore what needs to be fixed and wait for trouble to find you. Or vow to be resilient, summon your feistiest curiosity and search for trouble. The difference between these two is dramatic. If you mope, sigh and hide, the messy trouble that arrives will be indigestible. But if you’re brave and proactive, the interesting trouble ultimately evolves into a blessing.
CANCER: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Astronauts on the International Space Station never wash their underwear. They don’t have enough water to waste on that luxury. Instead, they fling the dirty laundry out into space. As it falls to Earth, it burns up in the atmosphere. I wish you had a bunch of amenities like that. If there was ever a time to be free from having to wash your underwear, make your bed, sweep the floor and do the dishes, it’s now.
LEO: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
What are the new whisperings in your head? Messages from an inner teacher? Beacons beamed back through time from Future You? Clues from your unconscious mind’s wise parts? Whatever they are, pay attention. These signals from the Great Beyond may not be clear yet, but if you’re patient, they eventually tell you how to take advantage of a big plot twist. A caveat: Don’t automatically believe every single thing the whisperings say. Their counsel may not be 100 percent accurate. Be receptive and discerning.
 
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