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SCORPIO: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
“Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble,” declares Scorpio author Fran Lebowitz, “as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.” I don’t wholeheartedly endorse that advice for you in the days ahead.
SAGITTARIUS: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
You are entering a phase when you will have more luck than usual as you try to banish parasitic influences, unworthy burdens and lost causes. Projects to work on: 1. Bid farewell to those who bring out the worst in you. 2. Heal the twisted effect an adversary has had on you.
LEO: August 20-17 Wednesday, August 27
Every 12 years, planet Jupiter spends about a year cruising through the sign of Leo. It’s with you now, and will be through early August 2015. What can you expect? EXPANSION! Great, right? Yes and no.
CAPRICORN: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Are you ready to be as affable as a Sagittarius, charismatic as a Leo, empathetic as a Cancerian, and vigorous an instigator as an Aries? No? You’re afraid it would require you to push yourself too far outside your comfort zone? Willing to be half as affable as a Sagittarius, half as charismatic as a Leo, half as empathetic as a Cancerian, half as inspiring an instigator as an Aries? Or even a quarter as much? At least stretch in these directions – that would let you take maximum advantage of spectacular social opportunities in the next four weeks.
AQUARIUS: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
In the weeks ahead, find practical ways to express your new-found freedom. The explorations and experiments you’ve enjoyed recently were fun and provocative, but it’s time to use insights they sparked to upgrade back in the daily grind.
VIRGO: August 20-27 Wednesday, August 27
TV comedian Stephen Colbert confesses his safeword is “pumpkin patch.” Does that mean he participates in actual BDSM rituals? Is it the codeword he says when he doesn’t want the intensity to increase, when he doesn’t want the next boundary crossed? I don’t know.
PISCES: October 22-28 Wednesday, October 22
Heavy metal band Hatebeak broadened the definition of what constitutes music. Its lead singer was Waldo, an African grey parrot. A review by Aquarius Records called Waldo’s squawks “completely and stupidly brilliant.”
The New Orleans native comes to town to help you shake that ass and free that mind
Should we be excited about tax dollars padding corporate profits?
SCORPIO: August 20-27 Wednesday, August 27
In your dreams, you may travel to Stockholm, Sweden to accept a Nobel Prize, or Hollywood to pick up an Oscar. There’s a good chance that in your sleepy-time adventures you’ll finally score with the hot babe who rejected you in high school, or go to the scene of your biggest mistake and do things right this time.
 
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