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ELVIS IN PICTURES Wednesday, September 24
I’ve had Elvis on the brain lately. And no, it’s not because I’ve spotted him in disguise at the mall or the grocery store. He’s been absent even in the tabloids, currently rife with the …
MELODIC INTRODUCTION Wednesday, September 24
Only 30 years old, Courtney Lewis has perfected his musical skills conducting such notable musical entities as the Minnesota Orchestra, Los Angeles Philharmonic, Washington National Symphony, and the …
SHOCKING Wednesday, September 24
Annual Bunyola “fiestas” on the Spanish island of Mallorca were canceled in September out of respect for an 18-year-old man who fatally hit his head after receiving an electric shock on a lamp post he was leaning against as he urinated at a street corner.
RULE NO. 9 Wednesday, September 24
The 15-year-old granddaughter of Cliven Bundy (the Nevada rancher whose dispute with the federal government caused a notorious standoff in March) told Las Vegas’ KSNV-TV that her dad (Bundy’s son) was withdrawing her from her high school because officials would not allow her to carry a knife on campus. She said her dad has taught his kids (just like Leroy Jethro Gibbs on NCIS) to “always” carry a knife.
JUST LIKE THE SCRIPT Wednesday, September 24
In August, a Bradenton, Florida, deputy sheriff was forced to duplicate a classic scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark when he was advanced upon by a menacing-looking, samurai-sword-swinging, 31-year-old man. The deputy, perhaps as nonplussed as Indiana Jones was, shot him dead.
OF COURSE! Wednesday, September 24
Jonathan Thomas, 50, was charged with DUI and disorderly conduct in Washington Township, Indiana, in August after driving through two backyards one Friday evening and getting his vehicle stuck in the second. Police reported that Thomas “show[ed] his teeth to officers” and later “growled” at hospital security staff. Thomas’ day job is director of the Porter County Animal Shelter.
SECONDS! Wednesday, September 24
Daniel Warn, 28, was arrested in July in Costa Mesa, California, and charged with the burglary of an El Pollo Loco restaurant — a caper captured on surveillance video. Police were notified later that day when Warn — wearing the same distinctive hat and bright green shirt worn by the burglar — came to the restaurant to order a meal.
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Wednesday, September 24
Clearwater police pulled over a “suspicious” car on July 24 and ultimately arrested the driver and his passenger. The back seat was loaded with potted plants — in fact, potted pot plants, so crowded that the leaves and branches of some plants were sticking out of the car’s windows.
ALL THAT AND CASH, TOO Wednesday, September 24
According to legal scholars consulted by the Associated Press, it’s conceivable that Nicole Diggs, of Yonkers, N.Y., even if convicted of negligent homicide in the upcoming trial in the death of her severely disabled 8-year-old daughter, could nevertheless inherit the remains of the child’s $2 million trust fund originally established for her care.
OOPSIE Wednesday, September 24
Nick Olivas, 24, is a rare American. At age 14 (an age that, in Arizona, makes him legally incapable of consenting to sex), he fathered a daughter with a 20-year-old woman — paternity he learned of only two years ago. The mother filed against Olivas for child support that now totals $15,000. Olivas is rare in that most states exempt rape victims from child-support orders — except that, since Olivas never made a police report of the incident, Arizona Child Support Services will not exempt him, and instead has obtained an order garnisheeing his wages at $380 a month.
 
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