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PISCES: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
The African nation of Swaziland has passed a law prohibiting witches from flying their broomsticks any higher than 150 meters above ground. That will be a big problem for Piscean witches. There is currently an astrological mandate for them to swoop and glide and soar as high and free as they want to.
AQUARIUS: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
Two physicists in Massachusetts are working on technology that will allow people to shoot laser beams out of their eyes. For Halloween, I suggest that you pretend you have already acquired this superpower. It’s time for you to be brash and jaunty as you radiate your influence with more confidence.
CAPRICORN: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
You are at a point in your astrological cycle when you deserve to rake in the rewards that you have been working hard to earn. I expect you to be a magnet for gifts and blessings. The favors and compliments you have doled out will be returned to you. For all the strings you have pulled on behalf of others’ dreams, strings will now be pulled for you. Halloween costume suggestion: a beaming kid hauling around a red wagon full of brightly wrapped presents.
SYMPHONIC STRUT Wednesday, October 29
Classical music fills the air at next week’s First Wednesday Art Walk. In addition to the 55 venues, 11 live music clubs and hundreds of participating artists that make up this monthly …
SAGITTARIUS: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
I’ve got two possible remedies for your emotional congestion. You might also want to make these two remedies part of your Halloween shtick. The first remedy is captured by the English word “lalochezia.” It refers to a catharsis that comes from uttering profane language. The second remedy is contained in the word “tarantism.”
REEL TRUTH Wednesday, October 29
Diehard cineastes, casual movie buffs, lovers of nonfiction-geared film or people who just like to sit in a darkened theater can check out a weekend of noteworthy documentaries at the Fernandina …
SCORPIO: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
In AMC’s famous TV drama, a high school chemistry teacher responds to his awful luck by turning to a life of crime. The show’s title, Breaking Bad, refers to what happens when a good person cracks and veers over to the dark side. So then what does “breaking good” mean? Urbandictionary.com defines it like this: “When a criminal, junkie, or gang-banger gets sweet and sparkly, going to church, volunteering at soup kitchens, and picking the kids up from school.”
LIBRA: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
“The egromenious hilarity of psychadisical melarmy, whether rooted in a lissome stretch or a lusty wobble, soon defisterates into crabolious stompability. So why not be graffenbent?” So said Noah’s ex-wife Joan of Arc in her interview with St. Crocodile magazine. Heed Joan’s advice, please, Libra.
VIRGO: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
Our evolutionary ancestors Homo erectus loved to eat delicious antelope brains. The fossil evidence is all over their old stomping grounds in East Africa. Scientists say that this delicacy, so rich in nutrients, helped our forbears build bigger, stronger brains themselves. These days it’s harder but not impossible to make animal brains part of your diet.
LEO: Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Wednesday, October 29
This is one of those rare times when it’s OK for you to just throw out the dirty dishes that you are too lazy to wash. It’s also permissible to hide from a difficult person, spend money on a supposedly foolish indulgence, binge-watch a TV show that provokes six months’ worth of emotions in a few hours, and lie in bed for an extra hour fantasizing about sex with a forbidden partner.
 
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